4th Quarter and Year End Results 2011

I had a slower quarter, but still managed worthy losses.

For the 4th Quarter (Oct-Dec)

LBS Lost: 18.5
Inches Lost:  16.75
Hours Exercised:  83

Year End Results:

LBS Lost: 90.5
Inches Lost:  65.25
Hours Exercised:  254.5

Here's how the inches lost broke down - measured in January, then December.  Because I carry a lot of weight in my abdomen area, I measure both my stomach (right at my belly button and then my waist, which I consider right about my flab roll!

Neck:   lost 4 inches  (18, 14)
Thigh:  lost  6 inches (28, 22)
Calf:    lost 4.75 inches (22, 17.25)
Hips:    lost 13 inches (56, 43)
Stomach:  lost 14 inches (54, 40)
Waist:  lost 7.5 inches (45.5, 38)
Chest:  lost 10 inches (51, 41)
Arm:  lost 4 inches (17, 13)
Wrist:  lost 1 inch  (7.5, 6.5)
Ankle: lost 1 inch (10, 9)


So there we have it folks.  A pretty stellar year, if I do say so myself.  I didn't make it to 199, but it will be coming soon.  I signed up for a month long Boot Camp in January (MWF).  I don't know if I'm replacing some workouts or adding this to it, but I need a little something different.

I will be lowering my exercise goal for the quarter, only because I have been killing myself this week to meet the 80 hours in a quarter.  I'm sure I'll get there again, but it was just too much pressure.  So I'm going back to 75 hours in 90 days.   It's a very doable goal.

I will be running an 8K on March 25th to end the 1st Quarter 2012, so I will start training for that soon.   I have a running goal of this year doing a 5k in under 35 minutes.  Of course I will also be training for the Avon Walk which is in June. 


Happy New Year Everyone!  May 2012 be a happy and successful year for all of you!

Jodie

Winding down 2011

2 days to go in this year.  This absolutely great year.   I have accomplished more this year than I ever have in terms of my health.   

I have lost 90 lbs.  I have run 3 5K races, improving my time each race.  I have moved out of plus sized clothing (for the most part).  I have lost numerous inches.  I can wrap most of our towels around me.  I have had to get rid of 99% of the clothes I had because they were too big.  My blood pressure, cholesterol are down down down!  My cycles are pretty regular.   So many good things.

I have read 21 books this year (at least - there could be more).

I am looking forward to 2012.  I don't need to really set a whole bunch of new goals because I am still progressing on the overall goals I have made.  But one goal I will do is run an 8K in March.  Everything else will just come as it comes.    I will be glad when life gets back to normal after the holidays.  I do much better in a very structured environment of time!

My favorite Christmas moment...

Was this picture!  The hat was given to my by my daughter.  It's pink and says Hope and has the pink ribbon for breast cancer...PERFECT for the Avon Walk!  But this picture made me so happy because I saw it and thought how thin I look! I'm not thin yet, but it's amazing to me how it is.  Merry Christmas All!!

Compare this to last year Christmas:

Oh my word.  What change.  

The very best thing I did this year...

...in terms of weight loss, was to make smaller, attainable goals.  Not to look at the big picture, but to look at the smaller successes.  It has helped keep me on track and not get down on myself as much.  There hasn't been many times where I've felt "I can never make it" because all the mini goals were 20 lbs or less, which I knew I could do.  

Even in terms of exercise - having quarterly goals has kept my butt moving.  Right now, I'm a little maniac trying to meet my goal by year end, but I have a plan, and I'm going to do it!!

So if you trying to figure out a plan for next year, think about mini-goals to help you get there!  It's the best thing I did this year!

The Towel: Part 1

I had meant to post about this a week ago, but never got around to it.

One of the goals in weight loss for me was to be able to wrap one of the gym's towels around me after a shower.  The towels are pretty small, so I needed to somehow keep two of them around me without falling down while walking through the locker room to get to my stuff.    Now, of course I could have brought my own towel from home, but it's bad enough to have to wash an extra load of work out clothes, there's NO way I'm doing towels too!

Well last week a towel wrapped around me.  I still needed a second towel because there was one small triangular spot that didn't quite get covered, but all I had to do was hold the other towel in my hand in front of me.  No fear that the towels were going to fall down on my way through the room!  It was awesome.   In this coming year, I hope to get to The Towel: Part 2 - where I don't even need a second towel to hold in front of me!

Awesomeness!

Sometimes it is good to be ashamed...

I'm not talking about being ashamed of being fat or eating cookies (which I still have not) but of being ashamed of thoughts I've had or judgements I've made.  They come so easily.

The other day in my Body Pump class I was behind a woman who put on the bare minimum for every exercise, including squats, which is supposed to be your highest weight.  So she lifted 5 lbs for every muscle group.  I often find myself annoyed with people who just phone it in at the gym.  These folks come, but they don't conquer.  It bugged me all class, as she's squatting to 5 lbs and I'm squatting with 35 lbs knowing that I can even do more than that.

But today a friend of mine that I take Shbam with was in the class with me.  She told me she hadn't done pump in  about a year.  She asked me about another class that I take and how tough it is on chest muscles.  In our conversation I learned she had a double mastectomy last year because she carries the breast cancer gene and has an 80% chance of getting it.  With three small children she decided she would rather go radical now and not be sick later.   She says that with that and the reconstructive surgery there wasn't anything there to be able to build bigger muscles.   Well folks, I felt ashamed at my judgement of the person the other day after this heartbreaking talk with my friend.

Now I'm sure my friend is not the norm and that all the women who put the least amount of weight on their barbells are not breast cancer survivors.   But it did make me stop and remind myself that everybody has a story.  Sure, some people go in and do the bare minimum, but others might have injury, might not know what they are supposed to be doing and are too afraid to ask, might be pregnant, or might be a recovering cancer patient. 

While my heart was saddened by my friends story, I was even more glad that I decided to do the Avon 2-Day Walk for Breast Cancer.  Now I know 5 people personally affected by the disease.    I know I posted this before, but I will keep posting about it.  If you'd like to donate, you can click on the box in the upper right hand corner of the blog home page.  $5, $50, $500....it all matters!  Thank you to the many of you who have  committed to sponsoring me in the walk and those who have done so already!  The blog community is great.  If you could even give me a shout out on your own blog pages about the walk that would be so awesome.  You never know who might be touched to give to this great cause.

Two Days Cookie Free...

Seriously, this shouldn't even be a post, but ever since last Tuesday, I've been a cookie maniac.  Lots of cookies, ever day, hence the Sabatoge post from Thursday. 

However, I am two days cookie sober.  I made 4 dozen today and didn't even lick the icing off the spoon.  I have had 2 very clean eating days.  My plan is still to wait until New Years Eve to get on the scale.  I've started to doubt that I can have clean days until then.  Of course on Christmas we will have our traditional goose dinner,  but why am I doubting the rest of it?  Because I've had some bad days and I am having a defeatist attitude.  What the heck?  I've got to cut this out.  I surely have no intention of gaining back this almost 90 lbs.  It's December...the toughest month of the year for emotional eaters!   

I'm adding work outs this next week to try to meet my exercise goal for this quarter, so that might mean 2 hours a day of exercise.  That's a good thing.  Today I'm even doing a triple (because I'm a little crazy and I miss my gym buddies).

There are now only 12 days left to this cold dreary month...Bring on the New Year!!!

Must. Stop. Sabotaging...

I have had the worst 3 eating days in the last 9 months.  And I know it's because I'm pushing over a new hurdle.  I'm back on the train today though and I did exercise throughout my crazy eating.   It's all December Dreariness setting in.. I need sun! 

Keep on keeping on....

19 days ....

That's it....that's all there is left to 2011.    My goal for this year was met...I had wanted to be 212 by 2012 and I made them.  I have the small goal now of being under 200 by the end of the year.  I'm close but I've been struggling a little bit these past days.   Part of it is the holiday season of course, but I think the other part of it is the number problem that many of us have.

I've read and experienced how when we get to a certain number we stall...out of fear, boredom, resignation...I'm not sure what.    So I'm there.   And I have vowed that I will not step on the scale until December 31st, so hopefully I will surpass that 200 number without spending all my time thinking about it.  I do not want my mind games to trip me up.  I look good, I feel good, and I am going to get through this.    So if you don't see my weight updated for the next 19 days, worry not....I'm not giving up.  I just need to get over this hill so I can continue with my progress!

If you haven't read Thursday's post about the Avon Breast Cancer Walk, please do.  And if you are so willing, consider donating toward the cause.  A huge shout out to Hillary, Leah and Jessica, who have been willing to donate!  It amazes me often the kindness and generosity of the blogging world!

Avon 2 Day Walk for Breast Cancer - Chicago

Dear Friends and Family,
The year is not quite over, but I'm already planning a huge event for next summer

On the weekend of June 2-3, 2012 my friend Susan and I will be walking, along with thousands of other people, in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I am planning on walking a marathon and a half. (39 miles!) I will also raise at least $1,800 in donations for the cause. I'll have to spend the next few months training, fundraising, and preparing for the event. It's quite a big challenge that I've  taken on, but spending this last year losing almost 100 lbs, I know that anything is possible!

I personally know 3 people who have battled breast cancer - two are survivors in remission and one is currently battling the disease.  I have been so amazed and encouraged by these women and by the spirit and courage they showed during such a devastating illness.  So I dedicate this walk to them - Marie, Emmy and Terri.  I do this also for my girls, with a hope that maybe by the time they are adults, they won't need to fear breast cancer.

In the season of giving, would you please help to support my efforts in fundraising for this important cause by making a generous contribution? Any amount will help the cause! You can make your donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message, which will bring you right to my personal page.  All donations are tax deductible. If you'd prefer to mail a donation, please let me know and I will instruct you how to do that.

The money raised is managed and disbursed by the Avon Foundation, a 501(c)(3) public charity with a mission to fund access to care and finding a cure for breast cancer. The Avon Foundation funds both local and national organizations in five key areas: medical research; education and early detection programs; clinical care; and support services, all with a focus on the medically underserved.

You can also help me by passing this message along to others you know who may be interested in supporting me for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.  So many people have been affected by this disease, this is just my small way of giving to that community.

Thank you for your support.

With appreciation,

Jodie Pickett Fletcher
Click here to View my Personal Page

Burpees

I took Step Class today and I pushed myself a bit.  Usually I don't put risers in, but for three or 4 songs I kept one set of risers on.  My biggest concern is injury, so I took them out when we started to do peak cardio songs.  I will not risk injury just to burn a few extra calories. 

I did one of the moves I haven't yet tried today as well, called the Burpee.  In step, it means bend down, put your hands on the step, jump back with both legs then jump both legs in and stand back up.  It's tough, but I was glad I did it!

Baby steps....that's all we need as long as we keep moving forward!!

I Feel Pretty...

My husband had his work Christmas party on Saturday.  It was a great time- however the food was terrible!! (who serves parsnips with a company meal?)  I had my hair done at the salon and just looked (and felt) fabulous.  There was dancing - which I love - and I felt so much more confidence on the dance floor than I've ever felt before.  I haven't had the greatest eating week with all these social gatherings, but I was struck by the fact that I really felt pretty.  I'm not sure I've felt that very often in my life.    But I did, and I do more often.  Yay!  Here's a photo:

Constant Constipation and the Scale

Ah yes, time again to talk about the bathroom....but I wanted to write this post to encourage people this week because a few people had small gains.    Since maybe the summer, I have had on and off again constipation.  Basically I go a few days between #2's.  (which is so different from before when I was eating crap because then I would be going all the time).

But here's the thing.  This morning I woke up and weighed - I was 203.  Then I did my business - A LOT - after a few days of nothing) and now it is 201.  2 lbs!  2 lbs of holding on to stuff in my body.

This is why I don't worry so much if I don't see a move on the scale for a few days...only after 10 days I get a little annoyed.  It all depends on how much our bodies are holding and releasing.  This is also why I weigh every day - so I can be more aware of the fluctuations in my body.  

So if you are a little discouraged, take heart, all you may need is a trip to your local bathroom!

Layers

Layers no longer bother me.  I used to hate layers because I felt so fat.  I would wear sweatshirts without anything under them.  Now, I often have a tank under a shirt and and always wear something under a sweater or sweatshirt.  It bothers me not!   I'm on my way....

Woah...

I had to buy a coat today for a few reasons - First, all the coats I bought last year are way too big, and secondly because I have my husband's work party on Saturday and the two coats I have are not fancy enough.  I'll try to post a picture later of the coat I bought (which kind of has a cheetah ish look to it and is soft as a bunny (but it is not fur)  but my friends, it is a size....

LARGE!

That is size large with no "X" in front of it.  It is snug but I can move in it!   
It is so funny to me how sizes run so different.  I bought an XL ski type of coat last week and it is snug being an XL.    So it all depends on what you buy...however I am super psyched that I was able to purchase something that had no XXXXXXXXX!!!

I ate a piece of everything!

I enjoyed my vacation immensely.  On Thanksgiving, I had two plates full of all the good things in life and then later I had a piece of almost every dessert on the table...cake, blueberry pie, banana bread, chocolate pie, chocolate peanut brickle, pecan pie.   Yes, it was a lot, but here's the thing.  I took a SLIVER of each thing, not an entire piece.  I allowed myself the freedom to indulge a bit and this freedom made sure I didn't gorge myself with huge pieces.  Because I was free to eat everything, I didn't feel the need to make excuses of what I could and couldn't have and the stress that usually goes along with that was non existent.

I am glad to get back into my routine, but all in all I did really well.  When I could I ate what I normally eat for breakfast and lunch, and then I enjoyed.

The best part - I still lost 2 lbs over vacation!!



Have you thought about your December goals yet?  I figured I would since it is better to be prepared.

I don't normally set timed weight goals, but I would really love to see 199.5 by the end of the year.   That means 6 lbs.  Very doable. 

And I have a goal to ENJOY December.  To Enjoy the cookie parties and social gatherings and know that I have accomplished much and the rate that I get to my ultimate goal is somewhat up to me.  So if I want a few cookies it is not the end of the world, it may just take me a week or two to get to where I am going.  Sometimes that is worth it.

I thought this morning that I am so thankful for my body that can now run/jog 3.1miles without stopping. I am so thankful for the clothes I am wearing that are not plus sized I am so thankful that I do not have stomach issues like I used to since I am not eating the crap I used to. I am thankful for the circle of encouragement I have surrounding my lifestyle change and weight loss. My vacation is going well. I've been exercising - running a few times and took zumba I am not eating perfectly however I am eating very well. I am treating myself here and there, and did allow myself seconds. I'm just enjoying life. Happy thanksgiving all!

Still here, still good....

I haven't posted since Monday!  What a slacker!  This has just been kind of a crazy week.  We are leaving for the Thanksgiving holiday, so I'm busy packing, organizing, getting the dog ready for the kennel, etc....I'm a bit excited and nervous about going 'home for the holidays' as the last time I went home after I'd lost some weight a few years ago, noone noticed.   This time though - I can't imagine anyone NOT saying something, especially when my next door neighbor bumped into me at a store and said "Wow, I didn't even recognize you - how can that be, since I see you all the time!".

I have been pretty lax in updating my exercise ticker too...I'm still doing all I've been doing, but I forget to update the ticker, so if I don't actually make my quarter goal on the ticker, I'm pretty certain that I will have made it...

I'm already mourning the lack of no fitness center for 7 days.  My girlfriend has a membership to her Y, so I might be able to go there when I'm visiting.  I'm just going to enjoy my holiday!

I love the look on their faces....

when people ask how much I've lost and I tell them "82 lbs so far".  Seriously, mouths drop open every time.

I'm so thankful for this new way of living.  Sometimes when I think about who I was and who I am now, I'm quite startled.  Like today.  I took 3 classes - 1 hour Step aerobics, 1 hour Yoga/Tai Chi/Pilates and then this evening 45 minutes of Shbam Dance.    Who is this girl?  Oh yes, it's ME!

And yesterday..I was the girl who ran 3.1 miles without stopping.  Who's that girl?  Me!  I can do so much more now than I ever imagined I'd be able to do.  So sometimes I stand with my own mouth dropped open.  When the scale went below 210 I stood in awe (and then did some happy dances) to see a 0 after the 2.  Wohoo!  Sometimes I get choked up when I walk by the Plus Sized section because I don't have to shop those tops anymore...  Not because I'm sad, but because I've been liberated.

5K Number 3 - Panting for Paws

This just in:  I ran my third 5K this morning.  This time the terrain was a path through the woods in a park nearby - all flat, crushed limestone.  It was windy, so I think it might have affected my time a little bit.  Here are my stats:

Time:  36:31 seconds
Speed:  11:47 minute mile
Place:  159 in about 300 or so
Age/Gender:  24th out of 41

 I haven't run since the last 5K but I did manage to run this one 31 seconds faster than the last one (which was a whole 5 minutes plus faster than the one I did last June.  I have this image in my head that if I ran with a backpack on with the weight that I was in June, I would be so much slower.  So as I'm losing things out of the backpack, I'm running faster.  I probably won't run until the spring, so we'll see how much lighter I'll be and how much faster I will go.

I would have never believed at the beginning of this year that I would run a 5K, never mind THREE of them.

Thank you to those who commented yesterday.  I had the thought today that I can't spend my time thinking about the actions of other people.  If they don't want to talk to me, that's fine.   I won't be apologizing for changing my life, even if it makes them uncomfortable.

Have a fabulous Sunday!

I might be able to make it!!

So, thankfully my weight loss has started up again, which gives me some hope that I might be under 200 lbs by the end of 2011. I'm not betting on it, but If I lose 9 lbs, I'll be under 200. That's 7 weeks to lose 9 pounds. It might work out!

I don't ever think about giving up anymore, which is a fabulous thing, however, lately I've been quite obsessed with how much people are telling me I look good, how many blog followers I have, how many comments, etc... I don't like it. Part of it, I know, has to do with the fact that I've NEVER been this successful and I want people to acknowledge that! I want to be affirmed!

The other part is that my life now is so much focused on weight loss and the fitness center, that it's what I talk about a lot of the time. So I am mentally struggling to figure out the balance. I know for sure some friends have stopped talking to me because of my weight loss. (these are friends who are bigger). I often wonder too if my blog readership isn't expanding because of the same thing. The better I do, the less comments I get.. I don't want to be so self focused, but I think it makes me stressed out. It makes me crave the accolades more because I guess I have fear that if I'm not doing well people will stop caring. But people are stopping to care when I am doing well too! ARGH! This is called damage, people! Damage that was done long ago because I was fat and people didn't care enough. It's kind of making me crazy!

But I'm pushing on to the OneDerland! OH, and I also just have to say that I bought 3 pairs of size 16 jeans yesterday at my favorite thrift store! Size 16! Now I've worn size 16 skirts already but those all have elastic waist bands in them, but these are JEANS!! How cool is that!

My 10 Minutes of Fame

Remember in August I was interviewed by the fitness center?  Well finally they put me in a brochure!  Well, 2 brochures to be exact - one marketed just for women and the other marketed to overall people.   


Centegra Brochure 2 And.... Centegra Brochure 1 They also told me that I would be in the quarterly magazine in January... I'm so glad to be able to promote my fitness center! I love it there!

The guy who lost 200 lbs in 10 months.

Did you read about that guy in NY that lost all that weight?  If it is true and accurate then I say "Well done", but something in me is very suspicious and also actually very annoyed.

Suspicious because that is 20 lbs a month.  The first 2 months I could see because he was already a very big guy, but 20 lbs per month continuously???  Anyone else been able to do this??  Yeah, didn't think so...  Also, how do we know for sure it was in 10 months?  Are those before and after shots dated?  Also, are there any quotes from the YMCA that confirm his daily dedication?  Not that I've read.  Also, I have eaten more fruits and veggies, less meat and have worked out every day, often 2 times a day for the last 10 months and I have lost less than half of that.

Annoyed because if it is true, it is entirely unhealthy.  First he said he did cardio and weight training for an hour each, six days a week !   Well, if he had been reading all those websites he claims he read for his info, he would know that weight training EVERY day is NOT good for your body.  I worry that others will read his story and start doing like he did and end up with injury.  

I don't mean to be a negative Nelly, but it's really not a great story when the only two people quoted are him and his fiancee.   If anyone ever did a story on me they'd have 5 separate fitness instructors, health club staff, my family and anyone who has ever known me to interview...

Back is better, not fully, but better!!  

Oh, my aching back!!

I took a class on Saturday called Total Body Conditioning.  It's mostly a strength and conditioning class.  After the class I was putting a load of laundry in and pulled something in my back.  I was so upset.  It doesn't hurt a ton, but it's the aching feeling like someone keeps driving their fist into your back.  I'm taking some drugs for it, but the info on the web is all contradictory.  Heat, Ice, Rest, Exercise....  Well, I'm plowing through it.  I exercised 3 times yesterday.  I took Step (albeit at a much reduced exertion) and Body Flow and then Sh*bammed at night (again at a reduce pace).  I hate not being able to work out to full intensity.  I think that's why I took 3 classes yesterday.  Because I knew that it wasn't my normal.   I have  a 5k to run on Sunday, so I don't want to really injure myself more...  GRRR...

Historically November has not been a very good month for me for weight loss.  In 2009 when I lost about 30 lbs, November came and then I gained it all back.   In 2010, I did not have one blog post in November - and we all know what that can mean.   So, here it is - November....it makes me nervous.  Visiting family and vacation makes me nervous - having an injury makes me nervous.  I feel stronger now than I did two years ago and even one year ago.  I will make it through November....I will....  determined!

Do you ever?

Do you ever look in the mirror or your reflection in the window as you eat?  I recommend it, especially when you binge, so you can see the disgusting reality of it all.  I say this not in judgement, but in truthfulness as I consumed many calories in a short period of time yesterday.   But I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and had to acknowledge that I HATE that part of me when it becomes uncontrollable.

It happened, I am moving on...

I always try to reflect on why I get that way, and I suppose there is never just one answer.  But here are a few thoughts:

1.  Like I mentioned the other day, I'm trying to *rush* to get 15 lbs off, and freaking out a bit, so when things don't happen quick enough I feel hopeless and that the weight loss is pointless
.

2.  I'm trying to plan a trip to New England for Thanksgiving to see family.  STRESS!  I hate trying to jam in a whole lot of things in one week and see a lot of people whom I love but some of which get put out if I don't spend enough time with them.

3.  Just had parent/teacher conferences.  I would not know that one of the children was mine from the conference.  Her teacher said she was "quiet and keeps to herself, doesn't answer much and when she does it is in a small voice and she sucks her thumb all day."  The thumb sucking is true, the rest is not my child.  This is my extremely social, friendly, hardly ever shuts up child.  So this made me sad.  Why is my child not thriving at school?  She's super smart and ahead of everything but still.  Not knowing what is going on to make her behave that way upsets me.  I think the teacher is very capable (although not super warm and fuzzy).

So that's the skinny that's keeping me from becoming skinny right now.  I'm back on the train...off to workout...

Keep on plugging away...

Chris over at A Deliberate Life said something in her blog today that made me think.  She mentioned how the last 20 lbs makes people want to rush to the finish line and kind of freak out about getting there.  While I have more than 20 lbs to go, I am close to being under 200 lbs and I feel that kind of stress/pressure.  Maybe if I eat 2 eggs instead of 3, maybe if I don't eat supper tonight...maybe if I double up exercise every day.... 

The truth is that if I keep doing what I am doing, I am going to get where I am going.  If these last 8 months prove anything it is that I can do it, that it doesn't always work the way I want it to, but results will happen if I persevere.    So I am going to keep plugging away...

Hating the Darkness

I love the fall, but the changing of the seasons and the additional darkness has made me very unmotivated.  Not so unmotivated that I'm not working out, but just a general feeling of unmotivation.  (i know, not really a word, but it works). 

Once I regain some of this motivation I'll post a little more. 


Happy November!

My sore tush!!!

I tried a new class yesterday at the fitness center called CX WORX.  It's a 30 minute Core class, working abs, back and glutes.  I don't feel it too much in my abs but my glutes!  Yowsers!  I wasn't in love with the class, but it certainly worked muscles I wasn't working in my other workouts so I may need to add it in!

The Cost of Weight Loss

There are certainly some costs in losing weight.

Food - even if you are doing it on your own plan, like me, the cost of buying better food can add up. 

Gym Fees - Anywhere from 30-100 per month depending where you go

Time Costs - Making good meals and exercising takes away time from your schedule each day.

But the costs of staying overweight are pretty high, too...

Food - While the cost of groceries may be higher, dining out budgets are usually HIGHER!  Why pay $15 for a plate of spaghetti at your favorite place, when you can eat a much healthier version at home for less than $2.00?

Clothes - Plus sized clothing can often cost a few dollars more than regular sized clothing (especially at Walmart where they so graciously  put that on their signs (Plus sized $2 more!)

Household Items - Bath sheets cost more than regular towels as do King sized beds and sheets and blankets.  Being bigger means bigger items which usually equates to more $$$$

Doctor bills:  High blood pressure, cholesterol, Diabetes, aches and pains, heart conditions...all associated with being overweight...add the medications and you've got a pretty good sum!

So at first the costs might seem high to lose the weight, but when you look at the other side of it, they are higher to keep the weight.  Since I'm all about saving money, I'm going for option A!

Happy Tuesday!

If She can do it, so can you!!

Last night at Sh*Bam  (the 45 minute dance class I take) there was a young woman that appeared to have Down's Syndrome.   While she didn't get all the moves that we did, she stayed the entire class and did her best and she enjoyed herself doing it!

It blessed my heart so much.  And I immediately thought, if this woman, with a great disability can be there exercising, there really isn't  much of an excuse for not doing it.  Now, I haven't had this problem of being motivated to exercise, but I'm glad I now have this image, because if ever I get the temptation to stop exercising, I am going to remember this woman and keep going....

3rd Weight Goal Met Today!!

FINALLY I met my third weight goal!  I am now officially what I weighed as a junior in high school!!  My next goal is 199 (to be below 200) so only 14 to go!!  If my weight loss had been going as it was, I'd say this was feasible by the end of the year, but I am not going to say it now.  The past few months my weight loss has slowed down (which by all research is expected) so I don't really want to put pressure on myself and be disappointed if it doesn't happen.


In January of this year I made the goal of being 212 by 2012 and since I'm only one lb away from that, I AM pretty certain that this goal  will be met!!

Have a terrific Monday!

Do I look Fat?

How hilarious is it that this is the question I most often ask my husband these days.  Every outfit I put on I have to ask if it makes me look fat or thin.  I never asked this when I weighed 290 lbs.    And of course, as 214, I am still fat...but I just am so much more conscious of how I look that I guess I care if I am wearing something that is flattering!


This is a funny story.  We decided to go back to the church we used to go to, where there were some really unkind people.  After 10 months of looking, we haven't found nearly anything close to as good overall and I decided that I was going to stop letting 5 people who aren't always kind dictate  my choices.  Anyway, when I walked in to church, one of my quasi friends pulls me over and says "I don't mean to be rude, but that coat is NOT flattering on you at all!"  I hadn't seen her in months and months and this was her way of saying that I'd done such good and hard work, I should't be wearing something that doesn't show it!!  So now I start to think about my clothes more.  The other day I was wearing sweatpants and a tshirt because I had no clean laundry and I looked in the mirror and said "This is what I used to look like every day, now it's what I look like only when I don't have clean laundry!"  :)  Happiness.

Today I bought the 30 day shred dvd to have at home.  Since I've been on a basic plateau for the past two months almost, I needed a little something extra.  My 6 year old decided to do it with me!  How adorable!!

Have a Happy Sunday!

Where did Everyone Go?

Over 1/2 of the blogs I read have not been updated in over 2 weeks.  Many of them for MONTHS...  I have been one of those bloggers who didn't blog for 5 months and it correlated to a very difficult time in my life.  So here's a shout out to those of you who aren't blogging (but may be reading!)

You are missed!!  Tomorrow is a new day for everyone, including you!  Your goals can be accomplished!!

Today I am catching up on laundry, having lunch with a friend, grocery shopping and doing an afternoon workout!  Happy Day!

It's the busy ness that does me in....

I learned something about myself yesterday.  Keeping busy does not help my weight loss efforts.  In fact in some ways it makes me sabotage myself.  It wasn't so much having things to do, but rather running around to different things.

Yesterday, I had to get the kids on the bus, be to bible study by 8:45, rush home to eat lunch and then get to the Opera House to usher an afternoon show.  It was the rushing, the wolfing down food, that got me all anxious, so in the afternoon, when I was able to settle down, all I wanted to do was eat.  It wasn't terrible - a bunch of animal crackers and 3 Bosco sticks (mozarrella stuffed bread sticks (not fried))  but it was more than I should have had.    Something about the rushing mentality makes me want to stuff my face.

Some people thrive on busy ness.  That's not me.  I like to be chill.  My husband does too.  We'd rather just hang around our house on the weekends, then run all over creation with our kids.  We do outings with them once or twice a month, just not usually both days of the weekend.  (not to mention we can never figure out how people can afford to do all the stuff they do with their kids...my hubby makes good money, but we'd probably not have any if we did all the stuff other people do)

It's always amazing to me when I learn something new in this journey.  I've been going strong since the end of March but I'm not done growing and I'm not done losing.  It was just a reminder that I am NOT immune to these feelings at any time.  They were such a part of me for so long.  I just need to keep learning and be diligent.  I am not going to book myself back to back again like that if I can help it. 

What I'm shooting for!

Yesterday, I asked my spin instructor a very personal question, which I'm glad she answered.  I asked her what she weighed.  You see, I've been trying to figure out what a body looks like at "X" lbs.  A lot of thin people don't look very toned and I have no great desire to be a stick figure.  I want to look healthy, and to me, my instructor looks healthy.  I was surprised when she told me 140.   I was expecting her to say 125 (to which I would become very depressed because that seems unachievable) because the woman does teach classes almost every day.  She looks thin to me.  She's got some good muscles. 

So then 140 is my target, but I know that if I reach 150, I would be happy because that's only 10 more lbs than my very fit, thin instructor!!

Crabby Old People

It is my hope as I grow old and all my hairs go white or gray that I will not be crabby.  I have started ushering at a local theater and I am by far the youngest usher by about 25 years or so.  And these ladies are just complaining old crabbies.  NOTHING is joyful...  Today we ushered some school groups seeing a performance and this one woman says "This is Hell!"   Then she says to me when the other house manager was on that I should do exactly what she says.  I responded that of course I would do what was asked of me.  She kind of smirked and then later proceeded to do something that she wasn't "supposed" to do which annoyed the stage manager.  Makes me laugh.

Anyhow, I'm still on a high about my 5K.  I've been doing well.  I haven't had a lot to really blog about lately so I've been a little more sporadic, but I'm doing well!

Holy Cats!!

My Aunt Carol always says Holy Cats!  and it makes me laugh a lot!  But it is appropriate for this moment.

Here are my 5k race results: 

RaceTime 37:02. 
Overall Finish 507 out of 673. 
Womens Overall Finish 290 out of 418. 
Womens Age Group Finish: 44 out of 70. 
Pace 11:57 min/mile.

I have run less than a 12 minute mile!!  I can't believe it!!  So now I say phooey to my high school P.E. teachers who always made me walk extra laps during gym class when I couldn't complete a 12 minute mile fitness run.   


And what's more is that I jogged the ENTIRE 3.1 miles!!   I finished before 171 other people!  I'm so crazy proud of myself!  I finished almost 6 minutes faster than I did 3 1/2 months ago!  Holy Cats!


I've not had a great week with food, but I am so amazed at the difference between this run and the last 5k I did that I am very motivated to get back on the train to see what will happen in another 6 months when I plan to run another 5k

Rock on my readers!  Rock on!!

A Little Less Carbs

So I'm not going to do any Atkins, Zone, South Beach or Dukan.  I'm just going to for a few days try to eat limited carbs.   I don't do counting, but I am aware of carb contents in stuff.   I find that I'm bloated and retaining water, and my losses are slowing down.  I want to try to rev it up a bit.   So for two days I am going to eat low carb.  I have the 5K on Sunday morning, so I will eat carbs on Saturday.  There's a bit of research that says tricking your body by eating differently helps keep your metabolism from slowing down.  We'll see.  I'm also PCOS and my OB/GYN recommended that I eat low carb over a year ago.  I just love my carbs, you see.  I actually have eaten a lot less carbs this past year, but still probably too many!

I haven't been doing as well eating wise as I should be.  Part of this is because I'm trying not to go grocery shopping as much and eating what we have in the house.  And so I end up snacking on stuff that isn't as good for me.  Thankfully, it is almost grocery time!!

My exercise has been spot on!  Having my gym buddies and instructors as facebook friends  really helps  me from falling off the wagon there! 

Feeling Big, but not Fat

I realized today that while I am still very overweight, I have started to see myself as Big and not Really FAT!  Because I am no longer bigger than everyone.  Since I am able to buy shirts in Extra-Large and not Plus sized anymore.  Because my pants size is under 20. 

I love this.  I had a much better eating day.  I ran this morning and then I did my usual spin and body pump classes this afternoon.  My legs are sore! 

Why are Successes Followed by Failures

What is it about a great success that makes us trip up?  Why doesn't it just keep spurring us on into greater victory?  I've had kind of a slumpy 4 days here.  Eating has been horribly off.  I have been exercising but it's just been kind of a blah weekend.

Yesterday we went down to see 4 of our friends run the Chicago Marathon!  It was amazing!  I don't think I'd ever have that type of perseverance, but it is something else.  I do have a 5k to run this Sunday, so I've got to crank up my running this week to prepare since I haven't been running much lately.

The blood work came back FINE!  My TSH levels are now in the normal range?  Lab error? who knows.  I can now just rest assured that my hard work is the reason I lost the weight!!

75 Fantastic pounds!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes oh yes I have overcome!! Today I am down 75.5 lbs this year! I am so thrilled, so proud of myself! It can be done people! It can be done!

The Spell is Broken!!!

YEAH!!!  The evil curse of a plateau has broken!  I seriously weigh 2.5 lbs less this morning than I did yesterday and almost the whole month of September!!  I wonder if visiting the doctor and having her say that I had zero symptoms of hyperthyroidism and maybe it WAS a lab error, just released some stress I was having?  Who knows?  Who cares?   I am .5 lbs away from having lost 75 lbs this year!  75 freaking fantastic lbs. 

Loving life today...going to seriously watch the sodium intake today.  It's Tuesday and that means double workout days and light supper (since Hubby is at bible study and I don't have to cook for him), so hopefully this dip will stay!!

Have a Transforming Tuesday!

Normal photos and Being Fat and Healthy

First of all, I wanted to post the pictures that inspired my strike a pose post from a couple of days ago.  When I look at these photos, I don't feel disgusted with myself and that's a beautiful thing.  Sure I'm still bigger, but I don't stick out the way I used to...

I'm second from the left if you couldn't tell (wearing my red mittens from Oprah!)

  I'm 3rd from the right.  It was our instructors birthday (She's next to me)

Secondly, I sent hubby for a physical since he hadn't had any in a while.  His blood tests results came back and would you know that I am so much healthier!!  He only weighs about 170 lbs but his triglycerides, bad cholesterol, good cholesterol and blood pressure are all worse than mine!!  It is amazing to me that he can be 50 lbs lighter than me and have never had weight issues and I am overall healthier.  The exercise is the big part of it for sure!!

I had my follow up dr. appointment today, where they redrew blood to test my thyroid again.  She confirmed that I have ZERO of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism, so hopefully it was a lab error.
If the levels come back low again, I may need to see an endocrinologist.  I should know tomorrow or the next day.  The treatment may be radioactive iodine therapy...this would make me so unhappy.  I try to keep my life naturally...I don't know if I could deal with putting something radioactive in me....

Finally, in addressing the Malware issue.   I had this site http://redleg-redleg.com/file-viewer/blogger/ scan my blog.  It found that the malware issue was coming from a blogger in my blog roll, but because of that I got flagged.  Since this blogger hasn't blogged in over a month, I just deleted her from the roll and now everything looks back to normal.    If it's not, please let me know!

Have a Marvelous Monday

Are you still getting a Malware warning??

It came to my attention that some were getting the Malware warning.   I did a little research and scanning and found that it may have been coming from a blogger I had on my favorite reads.  She hasn't blogged in over a month, so I removed her from my list.

Please let me know if you still get the warning.  I had google scan MY site and it is absolutely nothing to do with my site.  It is safe.

Inspired by Leah I took a body step class this morning and it was much easier than I anticipated it being.  I kept the step off the risers, but for the first time out I got a good workout!

Have a good night!

Strike a Pose!

So I've been doing a lot of different things with groups of people that have come along with photographs taken.  I used to hate seeing any photographs of myself.  Shuddered when someone would post one on facebook.  I just looked so huge compared to everyone else.  I'm still big, but now I don't mind them.  I don't look AS big.  I look nearly normal.  And it's great.  So great.

2011 3rd Quarter Results

So it's the last day of the quarter and here are this quarters results:
26 lbs lost
89.5 Hours of exercise
18 inches gone.

I'm happy. It's hard to go from the last quarter which had BIG losses to a more moderate weight loss, but it's still great. Weight loss is always fast in the beginning, this I know and slows down over time. It's still almost 9 lbs a month average, and that is great.

So my grand totals over the three quarters, keeping in mind that I didn't track much in the first quarter: Weight loss: 72 lbs
Hours of Exercise 171.5 PLUS whatever I did in the first quarter (probably 30 or so hours)
Inches: 48.5"!!

Now, a little word about inches. I measure the following things:
Neck
Thigh
Calf
Hips
Stomach (right above belly button)
Waist
Arm
Wrist
Ankle
Chest

I only count one measure for each one - meaning if I lose an inch on my thigh, I only count it once in my total, not twice for my two thighs or arms, etc. I'd rather be conservative on this. But even with that almost 50 inches!! That's A Whole lot!! I didn't meet my personal goal this month, but it's all good.

I'm all good.

Drat!

2 weeks - barely a move on the scale. Frustrating. Will this be the plateau? I'm so annoyed. You see, my body hasn't seen this weight since 1992. I'm not sure what I have to do with it. I can't really lower my calories by much because I've been eating pretty low calories - under 1500 most days. I exercise almost every day. I've exercised more this last quarter than the previous but have lost less. I knew it would slow down eventually....but I wasn't ready yet. Maybe I should have started slower and then decreased my calories little by little, but I didn't do that. I went pedal to the metal and no looking back. I've been reading some that I could increase my calories for a few weeks (gain back a few pounds) and then try again? This just seems so counterproductive! There is still a chance that I could be under 200 lbs by the end of the year, but if I've been losing like I've lost this month, it won't happen. My very initial goal I made at the beginning of the year was to be 212 by 2012. This will surely happen, even if it's a snail's pace to get there. I only need to lost 6 more lbs or so to get there. It will happen. Well, I'm off to Body Pump! Have a Happy Thursday!

Changing it up

I decided I need to change up my food a little bit. I've been pretty much stuck despite adding exercise to my week! After reading a bit, I figure my body has just gotten used to what I've been eating, so I need to give it a little shake up. I did have a bad day yesterday. I think I'm so stressed that in two weeks the scale has not moved at all that I figured I'd try to trick my metabolism by having a semi-binge day. Ok, so that's kind of stupid, but I don't like this desperate feeling. I know, I know....just keep moving forward and the weight will come off. But this is the first time I really feel like freaking out because it isn't moving. I'm not in TOM, I've added exercise, I'm drinking my water....but nothing.. GRR....so I'm changing it up. Let's see what happens!!

I Rock!!

So I had a very good time at the women's retreat. I felt very included in the group, the food was great, the scenery was awesome. The speaker was pretty good as well. And I tried climbing a ROCK WALL!. I have never done it, never even thought about doing it, but I did. I made it about half way up before my hands started to hurt alot, but here are some photos!!

So Rock on, ladies and gentlemen...Rock on!!

Is September a Struggle?

I've noticed that blogging has slowed down quite a bit the past two weeks and it led me to wonder whether people are not blogging because they are busy or because they are struggling. September has been incredibly slow for me, partly my fault and partly unexplainable. I am working out more since the kids are in school, but I've had a few extra calories as I've celebrated my birthday, but the scale is pretty much stuck despite balancing those out. I'm heading this weekend to Lake Geneva, WI for a women's retreat with my church. I'm not super excited about it because honestly I don't know hardly any of the women but I was able to secure a room to myself and at the very least it's a weekend for Mommy to get away and be rejuvenated. I'm also trying to put myself out there and get rid of this fear of meeting new people at church, since people in our last church did a lot of damage. I'm so tired. It's dark in the mornings and gets dark early. I think I need to be aware of this as well, because winter is coming and it is a time where it is a lot easier to fore go the exercising and just stay home and stuff my face! Happy Thursday everyone.

Gym Peeps

I am so thankful for the people that I've met at the fitness center. They give me so much encouragement on a daily basis. Right now this has been so essential to me. I've been kind of "afraid" of people since we left our last church almost a year ago. I was very hurt by people that I looked up to. People made me feel so worthless, like my ideas didn't matter, my skills weren't important. Do you know how hard that is to bounce back from?

My gym peeps though - they rejoice when I rejoice, they get annoyed when I get annoyed...they notice how hard I work and affirm me.

I was planning to step out this weekend and head to a women's retreat with my church, but the rooming situation didn't work out. I'm okay about it. I just need to put myself out there and not be so afraid. I've done great things for myself and I need to remember to be proud of myself, who I am and who I am becoming.

My body can't handle it anymore...

It was my birthday weekend, which meant that it was the weekend of eating out and going a little crazy. Thursday I went to lunch with a friend and ate a sausage cheese stromboli. I didn't finish it and I ordered it without sauce. Friday I went to lunch and had a turkey wrap with bacon and avocado - again no sauce. Then there was the disgustingly sweet Baskin Robbins Ice Cream cake for dessert. Then the night out with the girls - some appetizers and a glass of wine. Then a salmon and bacon wrap for lunch yesterday. There were a few packs of pop tarts thrown in for good measure this weekend as well.

Can I tell you, my body is not happy. I have so much gas, and yet I'm constipated. Today I am not eating at all. I'll drink my water, but I've got to work out what's in my body now. I'm not upset with what I ate at all. I rarely let myself indulge to that extent. I did a double work out Friday in preparation. Yesterday I did a 30 minute hike with a friend. I'm just shocked at how my body reacted. Eating all that stuff used to be my normal life EVERY DAY and my body just adjusted to it.

I'm glad it's adjusted to something new. I had a perfect birthday, morning til midnight and I'm excited for my 37th year. Starting it by weighing what I weighed in high school is a great start!!!

Have a good sunday!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Today is my 37th birthday! It's closer to 40 than I'd like, but I'm okay with it. I dye my hair and I have great skin, so I look closer to 30 than 40 on a good day! My husband got me a fabulous new yoga mat with dragonflies and hydrangeas. (ok, so I picked it out and he bought it, but still.) I was a little bummed because the one mat that I loved even more is only available in Canada and will NOT ship to the US! WTF! I'm willing to pay people! But no..apparently if it is not Media Mail, they won't ship. GRRRR...

I plan to work out, then have lunch with a good friend, then shop for a new top, then eat icecream cake from Baskin Robbins! (woohoo!) and then go to a bar to celebrate with some girlfriends (one of which is turning 30 today). I'm not really into the bar scene, but since this girl is 30 I figured, "Let her live it up."

I got a no-chip manicure yesterday and so far - NO CHIPS! I actually prefer the process to regular polish - it dries much faster. We'll see how it holds up!

Have a great Friday people!!

Stress and the Food Monster

Ok, so this is not a post about how I totally blew it and ate a whole box of Little Debbie snack cakes (which has been done MANY times in the past), but rather the acknowledgement that when my stress level goes up, all I want to do is stuff my face.

I can be honest and say that I do not always have this Food Monster under control. It's only been these last 6 months that I've even come close and have often times even failed. But I'm glad when my stress level went up that I reached for my computer to blog and not to the snack cupboard to chow.

I'm a happy lady.

What Happens When the Compliments End

Something is on my mind today. I am wondering what will happen when the compliments aren't coming as much or stop all together. I know I'm not near it yet, but it will happen. There's such a high from hearing so constantly how great I look, how well I am doing, etc. So what happens when the hurrahs die out? How will that impact my journey. I know it's premature to think about it, but I worry a little bit. If you've made it to your goal, how do you deal with it...does it matter by that point or will I be so pleased with myself that I won't care what others say? I still have a lot to lose so I still see all the fat even though I've done very well so far.

I had a great spin class and body pump class today. I'm working hard this week since my birthday is Friday and I have a few lunches out and will surely have some cake on the day!

6 months ago...

I stopped drinking Diet Coke
I committed to working out.
I was 65 lbs heavier.

I used to get frustrated that weight loss was so slow, but it's not really. I used to hear people say "You didn't put it on overnight, it won't come off that way." But really..in 6 months I have almost wiped away 20 years of weight gain. I am 7 lbs away from being what I weighed as a junior in high school...which would be 16 years old. It really isn't that long of a time period considering.

Sure, we would all like to wake up thin, and we surely didn't wake up fat. But really, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't take that long if we commit. (There are exceptions for those who battle thyroid conditions and insulin problems).

I hope I inspire people. I hope that I can be proof that it can and does come off. Not overnight, but more quickly than it came or stayed on.

Happy Monday!

Feeling Blah

Maybe it's 09/11. Maybe it's hormonal. Maybe it's the stress of potential negative news from the doctor. I've got the blahs.

I'm avoiding most of 09/11 coverage. I worked in Boston, where the planes took off, in 2001. We had a client in the towers that perished. The planes flew so low in Boston for the next few weeks, I felt at any minute a Boston building would be hit. I remember it very well. It was also the day I said screw it to weight loss and then gained and gained and gained. I couldn't ever forget it.

My eating today though is fine. I'm not about to say screw it to the last 6 months of working out. I'm in it for the long haul.

We had a dance party at the fitness center on Friday. 1 hour and 20 minutes of Shbam, BodyJam and Zumba. Here's a photo of me with 4 instructors who really motivate and inspire me. This is an AWESOME picture of me. I think I look much thinner here than I actually am!

Exercise Goal #2 Met!

Well, I met my second exercise goal with 20 days to spare! I lessened the goal from last quarter because we went on vacation on a couple of times and the kids were home from school so I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it to the fitness center enough. Apparently, there was no need!

Yesterday, I was very naughty eating though. I had gotten a bunch of snack foods for the kids and I went on kind of a smorgasbord of snack foods. Oh well. I did go an dance for an hour and 20 minutes last night. I'm not even sure what happened to make me do that. Oh well. Today is a new day. That is one of my mottoes. It really helps me from staying in bad patterns!

Have a great weekend.

A Blog Give Away

Hilary over at The Big Weight is having a Starbucks gift card giveaway! Yesterday, I nominated Hilary for the Liebster Blog award, so here's ANOTHER great reason to check her out!!!

Sorry if it's confusing!

I've changed the title of this blog recently, as you might have noticed or it came up in your blog roll. Part of the reason was because I found that great quote by George Elliot and I find it inspiring. I guess too that it's been 30 lbs since I've been bigger than a baby elephant, so I needed something new. Sorry if it's confused you.

I need to remember that it isn't too late for me (and it's not for you either!) to do what I've always wanted to do. To be My best self. So this motivates me!

I've now lost 70 lbs this year! That is so very exciting. So much. I've never lost this much weight before. Heck, it's 20 lbs MORE than I've ever lost!! If I can accomplish this, I know I can accomplish anything!!

I'm an Award Winner

Leah, over at My New Ending has given me a blog award!! Leah is a loving mom and wife who is working towards health, like many of us. She loves God, and is also working on the Couch 2 5K program (which I never really finished, but I did jog/walk a 5K!

"Liebster is German for friend or love." The point of the award to is to recognize blogs with less than 200 followers. I am to pick 5 blogs to share with you, so here are my picks, in no particular order!

1. Melissa over at Little Miss Married is Maintaining Victory is close to 200 followers. She battles insulin resistance but has been losing little by little the last few months!!

2. Rae Rae J over at Losing 147 is on a quest to lose and she's doing well. I love how she analyzes what she is doing and things about ways to make it better!

3. Dawn at A New Dawn is brave and does NOT use the scale. She goes only by clothes sizes and this year she's dropped 5 sizes! Her blog always has fabulous pictures! She's a great gal too, always encouraging!

4. Need to Get Me Back. Sadly, I do not even know this bloggers real name, but that doesn't keep me from reading her blog! She writes honestly about successes and trials. She's lost over 70 lbs, so she's surely had some great success!

5. Hilary over at The Big Weight is working on the New Rules of Lifting for Women. I love how she works out with her husband Joel, too! She records her goals and often gives us recipes. I confess that I do not know how many people follow her, but it's a great site and deserves the recognition!

So, check these ladies out when you have a chance (if you aren't already!) They are all fabulous in my book! (Really, check out anyone in my blog roll...You are ALL fabulous! - that's why I read you!) And pass on the award to those you know are deserving of it!!

Happy Thursday!

The Results are In!

Blood work results came back today, there's good...and well...read on.

Triglycerides: 98 (should be under 150)
Cholesterol: 150 (should be under 200)
HDL (good chol): 50 (should be greater than 40)
LDL: (bad chol): 80 (should be less than 130)
Glucose: 84 (should be between 75-99)

I expected some things to be higher than June because I've added eggs pretty much every day. I am pleased that my good cholesterol is now where it should be and that my Glucose number is lower than it was.


These were JUNE 22 results for comparison.

Tryglycerides: 96 (should be under 150)
Cholesterol: 136 (should be under 200)
HDL (good chol) 39 (should be greater than 40)
LDL (bad chol)78 (should be less than 130)
Glucose 91 (should be between 75-99)

So here's the rather annoying, I want to kick someone news that made me get emotional and cry a minute. My TSH levels (thyroid/pituitary function) are low. TSH 2011 - .014
TSH 2009 - .893. So what are the symptoms of low TSH? Weight loss. I can't tell you how unbelievable upset it makes me to have my weight loss attributed to my thyroid (which I have unsuccessfully tried to blame for my obesity my whole life even though the results always came back as normal). I have worked HARD. I have stopped eating bad things, I have exercised nearly an hour EVERY day. So f*!$ you TSH levels. You may not have the credit.

I will have them rechecked in one month.

Subtracting Pounds, Adding Life

I have taken out a lot of things in my life. I've taken out high caloric meals, fatty snacks (mostly) fast food. I've taken away sitting on the couch/chair all day long. By subtracting these pounds, I'm adding to my life.

Not just adding exercise, but I've noticed other changes too. I shave my legs nearly every shower (I hated my body so much before I hardly ever did). I wear make up much more often just for the heck of it. I wear jewelry now because I'm not afraid to have people looking towards any part of my body (I was so minimalist because I didn't want anyone to look at ANY part of my body). I've added smiles and smiles to my days that weren't there before.

I'd be my friend today if I met me. Probably not before. I was so insecure. I still have those moments and probably will the rest of my life, but I'm able to reach out without as much fear. I'm worthwhile knowing and I'm starting to really believe it.

:) Loving life.

Cycling Success

Two years ago I posted this:

http://biggerthanababyelephant.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-could-i-forget-to-mention-bicycle.html

I did not do that loop again until today. I was probably about 280 plus pounds then. I rode today at least 60 lbs lighter and I did NOT have to stop and rest at all and I did NOT need to walk my bike up the hill.

To think about it, it makes sense. If I were to walk around carrying 60 lbs in my arms, I'd be tuckered out right away. It's these continually apparent things that make me want to continue to succeed!!

I hope you have a restful Labor Day!

I am Balanced.

Over a year ago, I started going to therapy because I had been having really negative reactions to other people's positive things (which is NOTHING like me...I'm a rejoice when you rejoice type of Gal!) Something was out of whack and I was living in a self pity, woe is me type of mentality (some of it maybe justified) and even the happiest news for someone else would make me cry in sadness because my life was never that good or easy.

I can say honestly, nothing was balanced in my life then. My eating was out of whack, I didn't exercise much, my parenting was not consistent, I wasn't always treating my husband very well. I went to church, but I hated it. I spent too many hours dwelling on squabbles with friends past and present. I was a mess.

I was able to say goodbye to my therapist on Friday. She told me that I have achieved a lot more balance in my life and that I'm one of the most balanced people she has been seeing. I eat well, exercise well, I have balanced my friend life between church and non-church. She said she sees it so much in my demeanor. I feel good. I don't stress about little things so much. I'm embracing life in a way I haven't done in a very long time. (if ever)

Today we took the girls on a bike ride along the river. We rode about 6 miles. Fun times!

Sometimes you just need a little rest!

I was supposed to take Pilates this morning, but I'm pooped. I did a few double workouts this week, so I think I need some much deserved rest. I'm curious how most people break down their calories per day. Do you eat more at breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Right now I eat about (approximately)
Breakfast: 400 calories
Lunch: 400-500 calories
Dinner: around 500-600 calories (I think...this is the most varying meal)
Snacks: 200 per day.

How do you break down yours?

How far I've come

The last time I visited the doctor in April, it was for that serious, possible hernia. (which resolved itself quickly. In just the basic stats for BP and Resting Heart rate there was a huge improvement:

Resting heartrate: In April: 70 Today: 52
Blood pressure: In April: 120/80 Today: 110/68

This means that I have moved from the Pre-hypertension stage into the Normal stage for blood pressure! NORMAL (my one of my favorite words). And the 52 resting heart rate is BELOW normal which means I am in good cardio-vascular health! GO ME! YAY!!!

Here is a very good quote. It might be my new favorite!

"It's never too late to be who you might have been" - George Eliot

Shout out for September!!

So, was your August astounding? Mine was good, but maybe not astounding. I had a loss of 9 lbs. Less than prior months, but it's pretty stellar.

But let's hear it for September!! WOOHOO!! Seriously, September is my most favorite month of the year. Probably because it has my birthday it in, but really because it was always back to school (and I loved school) and the weather gets cooler, the leaves begin to change... I love it!

With the kids in school, I'll be adding a bit more activity (ie walking the dog, adding fitness classes here and there.) I already work out a lot, but if I'm not doing anything else, why not?

Tomorrow is my annual doctor visit. I'm excited to go in weighing much less than I was the last time :) It's a happy day!

Best Comment EVER!

So Tuesdays is my double exercise day - Spin and Pump. It is also the day that has the most fun, most encouraging class mates ever! One of my buddies says to me yesterday "You are doing awesome, but if you get thin before I do, I'm going to have to kick your a$$!!!"

I LOVE IT!!! THe one guy in my group said he noticed the weight loss of course, but he says that he saw it in my personality. That I'm more bubbly and I talk to more people and look happier. All unsolicited compliments. Where have they been all my life??

Hopefully these type of posts don't discourage you! If I can get there, so can you!!! And I mean this in all sincerity. I am (almost) 37 years old and I am doing this. It's never too late to start.

Happy Wednesday!!

Come Scale Away...

I put the scale away this week. It won't go away forever, but I was getting a little mentally stuck with it. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, so I will wait until after that to take it back out. I still have lost at least 8 lbs in August, but it's the lowest that I've lost since March. Damn vacation! Damn PMS! Damn emotions!

The cat is still gone, but I'm doing much better emotionally. Yesterday I ate perfectly. Today, so far I have been perfect. Getting exercise...all is good.

I've been catching up on my movies since the girls have been in school. This week I have watched:

Source Code (Loved IT!)
The Adjustment Bureau - (Liked It)
The Serious Man (Turned it off about 45 minutes in - didn't get it)
Queen to Play (Jouesse) French film - (Liked it)
Poetry (Korean film) - Sad, touching, okay.
Jane Eyre (beautiful but bored me)
Singin' in the Rain (LOVED it! - can't believe I've never seen it!)





Happy Monday

I wish I could tell you...

...that I had a perfect weekend of eating and non binging. I cannot.

Saturday we had a very fun day at the Wisconsin Renaissance Faire. The girls had a blast. Of course the food choices weren't very good, so I just ate my girls leftovers and had an ice cream cone. We walked a lot, so I wasn't too disappointed with this.

Saturday night, my cat got out (she is an indoor cat)and she has not come back yet. We live with a lot of woods around our house with a lot of foxes, coyotes, deer, etc. I can't say I'm terribly optimistic for her return. This made me so sad.

Sunday. I ate probably 6 Hostess Cupcakes and maybe 10 graham crackers. I did however, forgo the Chinese food and didn't eat dinner.

This really is the most traumatic thing that has happened to me since March. We've had this cat for 7 years. It's just so sad. I am not proud of how I dealt with my emotions, however I am proud that even though it was my suggestion to get Chinese, I didn't eat any. I am proud that I got up this morning and walked 4 miles, then went and did Body Flow. I am proud that I have maintained eating healthy all day today.

I'm still sad, but these little victories make me realize how far I've come!!

XL Rated! (and my fitness center testimonial)

Oh yes I did just buy clothes at the consignment shop that were an XL and NOT a 1x! (I need to rebuild my fall/winter wardrobe! This just rocks. There are so many more wonderful clothing choices when you drop down into regular clothes. YAY!

I did the fitness testimonial today. Two young women interviewed me and took some photos of me. They just asked what I liked about the club, the classes I took, etc. I asked them if I could come back when I'd gotten close to the journey's end and they were very enthusiastic about that. If/when they post the pictures on line, I will of course link to it here!

Happy Friday. Tomorrow we are off the the Wisconsin Ren Faire. It should be fun.

It never gets old...

When buying clothes is a smaller size, the excitement never gets old.

When people compliment me and tell me how good I am looking, the pleasure never ceases (although some pressure can get added)

I realized that I (and probably many of you) hide in sizes too large. I know I did. This is why I got rid of everything that was even slightly too big. ANy size 24 and most of size 22 are gone forever. It's hard because something big will never be snug and unless it is falling off of us will make us feel comfortable. Today I bought size 16-18 workout gear at Walmart. (Danskin makes great workout clothes in plus sizes available at Walmart) I wrestled with myself about it though. Here was the process

Self: Hmm..maybe I should get the 2x (20-22) Then I'll be sure they fit.

Self2: Um, you goof. You are wearing the 20-22 right now and they are getting loose.

Self: Yeah, but if I got the 16-18 and they are or look tight, I would just have to bring them back, and that's a pain.

Self2: Well, isn't it better to buy something that *might* be more snug and work to make it less so than to buy something you will have to give to the thrift store in 2 months?

Self: I suppose that does make sense. I hate baggy things. Ok 16-18 it is.

So my smart Self won this battle. It just made me think of how so many times I kept bigger clothes and wore them on the days I "felt" fat. Now I just have a lot of normal clothes. And that is good.

Oh, and the 16-18 fit perfectly well.

Thinking of Christmas

I know...too early right? I just got my kids off on the school bus for the first day of 1st grade. But here is what I'm thinking....I have never done a family portrait professionally. Sure we have a lot of photos with me and Kev in the kids in them, but none taken by someone else. But this year, I'm doing it. I'm not so ashamed.

Now, onto some cleaning..I'll be taking SHbAM tonight so no work out this morning. Having lunch out with a friend and then just basking in the quietness.

Scale is continuing down again. I love this and I hate it... I hate many days where I don't lose weight and then all of a sudden I'm losing 1 lb per day (can we all say "WATER RETENTION") But it is VERY exciting to watch the scale move so fast. :)

Have a fabulous Wednesday!!

FINALLY!

11 days and finally a loss. I hate those long stretches. I think my previous longest stretch was 10 days. I think they are always around my TOM, retaining water and constipation. This may be gross, but constipation annoys me. When you go 4 days without doing the business it is very frustrating. I eat tons of fiber so I think it is totally related to the TOM.

Hopefully now I will keep moving down for a month before the cycle starts all over.

Happy Tuesday!!

They are Ready, I am Ready

Tonight is meet the teacher(s) night at my kids' school and they start back on Wednesday. We are all ready for them to get back into a routine. I am ready to get back to having a super duper clean house and to get back to walking the dog after they get on the bus. I'm eagerly awaiting the fall schedule for the fitness center. I hope there aren't too many changes, since I really am in a good groove with my schedule.

So I have been wondering something lately about church people (of which I am one). I belong to two book groups - one is from our old church and it is all about mothering. There's about 9-10 ladies who get together once a month. The other is the one I started last October and we read different books each month based on a members choice. Most are not church goers and again are 9 ladies. When I go to the non church one, all the ladies each month are just so affirming of my efforts, telling me how awesome I look and are interested in what I'm doing. At my moms group, no-one says a word about my weight loss at all. I thought about this and historically, every time I've tried to lose weight and have had some success, those of my friends who I know from church NEVER talk about it, while others are freely complimenting.

I don't want to be too narcissistic here. I don't want to be fishing for compliments, But it just makes me think, because here are two groups, both women, both meet once a month and the one that is the most affirming is the one that is NOT affiliated with a church/God. This doesn't change my own faith, but it is just something I've become aware of. Don't misunderstand, all these ladies are lovely, and when I'm in the depths, (which I haven't been in for some time) they are encouraging. I'm just a firm believer in encouraging ALL the time.

Happy Monday, all!

Foods that get me through each day

There are a few things that are helping me immensely in this journey of weight loss

Alfalfa Sprouts - I eat them daily on a turkey wrap for lunch
Josephs Lavash - It's a flax seed wrap for 100 calories
Basil Leaves - I eat these on sandwiches too
Apple Straws by sensible portions - 38 sticks for 130 calories.
Blueberries
Eggs
80 Calorie Whole Wheat English muffins.

Hormonal Hell

Gah - If having a stressful trip to MO wasn't enough, I just got TOM so my emotions (and sometimes eating) have been all out of whack. I have been exercising each day however and am generally fine with a few small binges. (3 Nutty Bars and a Sausage and Cheese Calzone from Rosatis)

So in all my emotional, hormonal state I got a little bit blue when i think of how many compliments I've gotten lately from everywhere...I spent so many years lonely and sad without encouragement. It's overwhelming to me. And I think "what the hell? Is this what is worth everything to people? Could they find nothing worth complimenting all those years?" This blueness will pass with TOM for sure...But it's out there...I'm dealing with it and moving forward.

Slow August

I have no complaints overall with my loss..it's just been a slow August. I knew eventually that my body would slow down, get used to routine...I need to change things up a bit. I'm looking forward to school starting so I can get some long walks in. I think adding this in will for sure help keep my losses going.

Had my daughters best little buddy over today so I didn't get to bodyflow this am...going to zumba in a little bit...

Back from Misery (Missouri)

I hate traveling to visit family. Mine or hubby's. It screws with me. Big time.

It's an 8 hour drive to hubby's sisters house. We get there in time for our niece's birthday party. 5 minutes there my daughter cuts her foot on a glass music box that was on the messy messy messy floor of her children's room. Now, I'm not talking cluttered. I'm talking a small circular spot where you could put your feet, but it's covered with small pieces of something..(crayon wrappers, dirt, crumbs, papers..who knows). It was an accident but I was furious. Why on earth would you allow your children to be like that..especially when you also have a 2 year old that you run around...and why on earth wouldn't you have them clean it when company is coming? Her foot was cut but we didn't need to go into the e/r thankfully (however my SIL says she's had plenty of experience there with her 5 kids)...grr..

THEN after about 30 minutes my SIL and MIL leave to go pick up the cake at Dairy Queen...but then my MIL has to take my niece to Walmart to pick out her birthday present. (DURING THE PARTY TIME!!) She took the niece that is closest in age to my two as well with her. So we waited more than an HOUR for them to get back. Why didn't my mother in law take her another time? Who knows? Why did she wait for everyone to get there to leave? No idea. Did it piss me off that we just drove 8 hours to have them leave for an hour - YOU bet it did! (Apparently they do this every time.) Then of course my SIL asks when we are coming down again) My mind is screaming NEVER....

So what did this do to me...well the Dairy Queen cake never tasted so good. All 3 pieces. My eating was pretty crappy all weekend. I mean it is vacation. But I know all too well what emotional family stress can do. I made it a point to work out as soon as we got home today.

That first day was really the only miserable one. The last 2 were just fine (except my daughter, who is 6 - for some reason kept pooping her pants). We went to a Kansas City Royals, Yankees game - and it was a lot of FUN! And I got some great pictures...ones that when I looked at I said "Wow, I can really tell the difference on me". Here are a couple






Back to the plan though as of 4PM today. Went to Spin, then to pump, ate the healthy dinner..

Beware of Becoming Too Critical

I've been in this groove now since the end of March - almost 5 months now. I noticed the other day that I've started becoming critical of other people in my classes. For instance, this one girl who never stretches at the end of the Spin class and just keeps on spinning. The instructors ALWAYS say how important stretching your muscles is after a workout....And then my body pump class where Women barely put 2 lbs on each side for the back track..one of the stronger muscle groups.

I need to reign this in. I need to remember that everyone is in a different place in their journey. Some people might have injuries. And if they are exercising just to exercise with no goal in mind or no need to press themselves, that that is their business, not mine.

I know what works for me and that's it...it works for ME. I need to keep rejoicing in my own successes and not worrying about other people so much. Anyone else have this problem???

Septic Shane and Heading off for the weekend...

Posts will be scarce for the weekend. We are heading down to Kansas City to visit my husband's family. I hate being out of a routine for 4 days but, this is life. I've been doubling up with workouts this week, in the event that I don't get much exercise in. There will be natural exercise of course...walking around whatever museum we go to...but not my usual.

I did decide to do the interview at the fitness center. It will be for August 26th. I want to honor the instructors that have been with me all along. And I guess, also, that it would be a good to have something to look back on and say look how far I've come!

THIS JUST IN: We had our septic tank cleaned out today and we always have the same guy (Shane) come and do it now for the last few years. He looked at me and said "You look different". I told him I had lost 60 lbs and he says "That must be why!". WHAT A THRILL. For a person who only sees me once a year for about 30 minutes to notice that I look different! Thrilled to the Brim!! AGAIN.

I'm going to leave it there.

Why I Weigh Every Day

A great portion of weight loss programs and many weight loss experts dissuade people from weighing every day or from weighing at all. For some, like Dawn at anewdawnforme.blogspot.com this works fabulously. Dawn is going by clothes sizes instead of pounds. (And she's doing an amazing job.) Me - I need a little bit more than that. I weigh almost every day. And it keeps me going.

This week showed a good reason of why I think weighing in daily works. On Saturday, I weighed 229, on Monday I weighed 236 because I believe I was retaining water due to a vigorous Pilates workout from Saturday which left me VERY sore. If I weighed in weekly and my weigh in day was Monday I would have shown a gain from the prior week even though I'd been pretty spot on in exercising and food choices. This would have messed with my head and I would have been very frustrated. I'd have to wait another week to see if I lost it all again and most likely would start depriving myself, starving myself, in order to see the scale go down again.

Discouragement is a weight loss killer. I see it time and time again where people have a gain and are so SAD. Then discouragement can equal bad food choices because our efforts feel pointless. I can understand that, especially if you've been working hard. Our bodies know what we need and keep what it needs to use.

Ultimately, you must do what works for you. For some weighing every day would drive them crazy. For me it is a stabilizer. If I have a loss, I post it to my weight loss ticker (which feeds to the chart at the bottom of the blog.) I don't post the gains because some days there is a .5 to 1 lb gain due to water retention I'm sure. But there's a pattern to the losses and it's a pretty consistent slope downward. That's what I'm aiming for. Consistency. Something for life. And it's working for me.