Saturday, November 12, 2011

I might be able to make it!!

So, thankfully my weight loss has started up again, which gives me some hope that I might be under 200 lbs by the end of 2011. I'm not betting on it, but If I lose 9 lbs, I'll be under 200. That's 7 weeks to lose 9 pounds. It might work out!

I don't ever think about giving up anymore, which is a fabulous thing, however, lately I've been quite obsessed with how much people are telling me I look good, how many blog followers I have, how many comments, etc... I don't like it. Part of it, I know, has to do with the fact that I've NEVER been this successful and I want people to acknowledge that! I want to be affirmed!

The other part is that my life now is so much focused on weight loss and the fitness center, that it's what I talk about a lot of the time. So I am mentally struggling to figure out the balance. I know for sure some friends have stopped talking to me because of my weight loss. (these are friends who are bigger). I often wonder too if my blog readership isn't expanding because of the same thing. The better I do, the less comments I get.. I don't want to be so self focused, but I think it makes me stressed out. It makes me crave the accolades more because I guess I have fear that if I'm not doing well people will stop caring. But people are stopping to care when I am doing well too! ARGH! This is called damage, people! Damage that was done long ago because I was fat and people didn't care enough. It's kind of making me crazy!

But I'm pushing on to the OneDerland! OH, and I also just have to say that I bought 3 pairs of size 16 jeans yesterday at my favorite thrift store! Size 16! Now I've worn size 16 skirts already but those all have elastic waist bands in them, but these are JEANS!! How cool is that!


  1. Just catching up after a busy week....kudos on the brochure and for pushing to hit Onederland by 2012!!

    But...don't forget that you are doing this for you and you have to be content with what you are seeing in your life daily and not do it only for the accolades of others. That will come and go, but you will live with yourself every day.

    Just remember to be a good friend throughout this and if people still quit talking to you, then there's nothing you can do. You are still Jodie, whether in a plus size or a regular size, right?

    Here's to a great November!!!

  2. Don't worry. You do deserve the praise, you do deserve to be acknowledged for your success. If people do not talk to you because they can not talk down to you (pretending to give you advice/help), they are not worth your time. I think you are truly an inspiration.

  3. You can totally achieve your goal if you push yourself and stay focused.
    Congrats on wearing size 16!!!!!!
    Balance is a hard thing to figure out, as far as fitting in everything in a day can be a challenge and then the other hand that you mentioned people not talking to you anymore or just not being there like they use to be, I've dealt with it and its hard, I think sometimes its a jealousy factor, and Ive never rubbed my weight loss in anyones face, all I want to do is help others in a kind manner to change their lives for the better. I see my life completely different now and I don't want anyone to live miserable anymore. But the other thing you have to realize is the people that aren't in your corner like they should be maybe they were never true friends to begin with.

    Im pushing for you to hit onederland!!!!!

  4. I can empathise with the focus on fitness - I basically took a back seat at all my other activities (including work) to go to the gym or cycle. I took a mental-health-day once to ride a bike in the sun - it was amazingly therapeutic - but I would have never done it last year.

    I know you're aware of your validation needs, I have it too, but what I've enjoyed about my obscure and mostly no one read journal is that I know it's actually there for me. No one else is going to do this for me, I have to do it. It's easy to lie to a blogging audience, but can I lie to myself.

    I admit I'm still in a habit of not telling that journal everything (lie by omission?) but I'm improving. I can do this. And so can you!!!

    Bring on one-der-land!