So, thankfully my weight loss has started up again, which gives me some hope that I might be under 200 lbs by the end of 2011. I'm not betting on it, but If I lose 9 lbs, I'll be under 200. That's 7 weeks to lose 9 pounds. It might work out!
I don't ever think about giving up anymore, which is a fabulous thing, however, lately I've been quite obsessed with how much people are telling me I look good, how many blog followers I have, how many comments, etc... I don't like it. Part of it, I know, has to do with the fact that I've NEVER been this successful and I want people to acknowledge that! I want to be affirmed!
The other part is that my life now is so much focused on weight loss and the fitness center, that it's what I talk about a lot of the time.
So I am mentally struggling to figure out the balance. I know for sure some friends have stopped talking to me because of my weight loss. (these are friends who are bigger). I often wonder too if my blog readership isn't expanding because of the same thing. The better I do, the less comments I get.. I don't want to be so self focused, but I think it makes me stressed out. It makes me crave the accolades more because I guess I have fear that if I'm not doing well people will stop caring. But people are stopping to care when I am doing well too! ARGH! This is called damage, people! Damage that was done long ago because I was fat and people didn't care enough. It's kind of making me crazy!
But I'm pushing on to the OneDerland! OH, and I also just have to say that I bought 3 pairs of size 16 jeans yesterday at my favorite thrift store! Size 16! Now I've worn size 16 skirts already but those all have elastic waist bands in them, but these are JEANS!! How cool is that!