Thursday, June 30, 2011

Quarterly Report (April - June 2011)

So I have been becoming healthy for 3 complete months now (April, May & June). Here are the results:

Weight Lost: 41 lbs

Hours of Exercise: 82 hrs

Inches Lost:
Chest: 6 inches
Arm: 1.25 inches
Stomach: 7.5 inches
Neck: 2.5 inches
Calf: 2.75 inches
Hips: 6 inches
Wrist: .75 inches
Thigh: 3 inches
Ankle: .25 inches
Waist: .5 inches (newer measurement to differentiate different parts of my weird body)

TOTAL INCHES LOST: 30 and 1/2 inches!!!

Off to camp for the weekend so there probably won't be any updates until Monday or Tuesday!! Happy 4th of July!!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Talking/Thinking versus Doing

Recently I reread some of my older posts from 2009 and early 2010. I sounded much wiser, more profound then (some of the time) than I do now. Words flowed much more easily and more poetically. I've been thinking about that...and the only thing that I thought of was it is much easier for me to write such profound things when I spend time thinking about them and talking about them. Now I spend my time doing things to help me lose weight. I don't think about strategies, I just do them.

I have a friend who is somewhat of a hoarder who has read about 20 books on organizing his stuff. But he hasn't actually DONE it. He could tell me what I should do about my clutter, how to make my bed, how I'm supposed to clean my house according to the professionals, but he doesn't do any of it. He has the knowledge not the action.

I think now I am in a phase of action. I had the I'm moving past that. I spend my time doing the stuff I know will get me in shape instead of thinking about or talking about things that I SHOULD be doing.

Just something to mull to Pilates and later a Massage!! WOOHOO!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Big 4-0

I'm not quite there in age yet (I'll be 37 in September) but that is how much I've lost this go around. This is exactly how much one of my 6 year old daughters weighs.

I know I said I was putting my scale away, but THAT determination isn't as strong as my eating well and exercising determination.

I was thinking yesterday that I hope people aren't getting sick of my every day positive happy comments. I'm glad for them but I hope they aren't discouraging anyone who is struggling. I don't take that lightly because I have been a struggler my whole life! For whatever reason right now I'm good. It might not stay that way. I take pride in my accomplishments, but I'm not gloating. I know I can as easily find myself on the other side of the good.

So happy Tuesday everyone! My favorite instructor is on vacation today and my mind was already making excuses not to go to class..but I'm biting the bullet...4:00 spin class - I'm coming...

Monday, June 27, 2011

42 minutes 46.44 seconds

42:46.44 (this was my first 5k time)

I'm putting away the scale until the 30th. Then I will have official quarter results! Truth be told, I'm obsessing a bit...I am very used to having days where the scale doesn't have movement, but when it starts to move, then stops again, I get frustrated and disappointed in myself.

I'm so glad I put myself out there for the 5k. A year ago I would have never dreamed of doing it...heck 6 months ago I probably wouldn't have either.

So that woman didn't show up at BodyFlow today. Maybe some day she will. I am glad to be a walking billboard for improvement.

Have a fabulous Monday!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

My FIRST 5k!! Complete.

I did not run the whole thing, I alternated jogging and walking, but I've learned a few things:

1) Do not start off running to Livin La Vida Loca. It's much to fast and I was out of breath too quickly!

2) Do not drink the orange gatorade. I put it in my mouth and the sweetness was so gross I had to spit it out.

3) Sun is hot ..hope for a cloudy day!

They haven't posted official times, but I know it was under 43 minutes and I was NOT the last to finish!

I still have 2 weeks left in my C25K training, but I think I did need the motivation. I'm very proud of myself. And now I have a number to improve from. I'm quite pleased.

Happy Sunday!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Extolling the Virtues of Exercise

So today I met two women in the locker room after my Body Pump class. They were just coming in from an aqua class. I'm not sure how we got started talking about the classes, but I mentioned which one I just was in and it turned into a very lengthy conversation about painful knees and the variety of classes at the fitness center.

One woman, who seemed slightly older than I and fell into the overweight category was talking about how she didn't do a lot of classes because of her knee. While it is true that you don't want to hurt yourself doing exercises, I also know this is a very HUGE excuse not to exercise as well as I should. And then I started telling her how she could fit it in, how I do not to hurt my knees. She wasn't going to the Body Pump class because the squats and lunges hurt her knees. (this is less than 10 minutes of a 60 minute class) I told her to just go get a drink during these (I have done it on days where my knees were really achy) I too started out exercising only in the pool because it was "safe" and fairly easy. But like anything it gets BORING after doing the same things over and over. When I mentioned that I have lost 40 lbs just these last few months, she shockingly asked "HOW?". I told her by going to the classes and eating well. If you do it, the weight comes off.

The biggest key to my exercise success (currently) is modifying when necessary but getting out there and doing it. I ask questions of instructors about modifications when I can't do a movement they are doing. If I hurt a lot, I stop, then resume at what I can do. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I sometimes think we set ourselves up for failure with an all or nothing attitude. Some days we will naturally give it our all. But for the days when we don't have it in is, some is enough.

This woman said she might try some of the classes I do, because it would be less intimidating with someone she knew (and another fatty - to be honest). I hope she does for her sake. Then she could open her world up a lot and perhaps be more successful.

I'm happy I'm in such a place right now that I can be an encouragement to someone else who needs it! Happy Day!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Exercise Goal Met!

Back in the beginning of April I decided that I needed an exercise goal for the quarter. I thought 75 hours was a good number. It actually was a very aggressive, with only about 1.5 days per week off to rest. I am happy that I have met this goal. I am going to allow for 2 days of rest for the next goal. Whether I take them or not will depend on the week, but I want to allow for them.

I mostly jogged for 2.4 miles last night. I jogged 1.5 miles but then had to stop because of a cramp. I jogged then some more after I felt a little better. I can't hardly believe this. I never jogged a mile before this year. Even in high school. I remember the gym teacher telling me, jog the straightaways and walk the corners. I had never even jogged one whole lap without slowing to walk.

I signed up for a 5k on Sunday morning. I figured I would use it to train for October's 5k. I'm also sure I will be walking part of it. I'm partly ready and might even find it easier with a whole bunch of other runners/joggers. It's with our fitness center and runs through a subdivision. My only goals are to finish and to not finish dead last. I for sure will let you all know how it goes.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Blood is Thicker than Water

I got the results of resent blood work back and it is good news!!

Cholesterol: 136 (should be under 200)
Tryglycerides: 96 (should be under 150)
HDL (good chol 39 (should be greater than 40)
LDL (bad chol)78 (should be less than 130)
Glucose 91 (should be between 75-99)

In 2009 - last time I had blood work done

Cholesterol 158 (22 points HIGHER than this week)
Tryglycerides 138 (42 points HIGHER than this week)
HDL (good chol) 41 (2 points higher, which is actually better)
LDL (bad chol) 89 (11 points HIGHER than this week)
Glucose 82 (so I am 9 points lower here...which might concern me a little)

So now I have to research how to raise my good cholesterol and maybe figure out why at almost 50 lbs lighter and free from all little debbie snack cakes, my glucose is higher (although it is still within normal limits being under 100)

Great news. Completely pleased.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Feeling the Pressure

So the other day I blogged about how great it was to get compliments. I think I take a bit of that back. Today I felt the overwhelming pressure that having everyone notice my weight loss brings. Scary feelings. Those feelings of "Why does everyone have to notice me!!". If I fail now then people will notice. (not that I intend to). But it is a scarier feeling then any I have had on this journey.

Of course this comes from another person commenting on my weight loss today. A mom from the ballet studio. I don't know what about it today had me in tears during my spinning class. With my pants being so loose and people telling me how great I look, I just got overwrought with emotion. This is the most successful I've ever been with weight loss in the last 10 years. It's exhilarating and frightening all in one.

I'm good though and plan on staying good. :)


My pants, my's all falling down!!! It's so annoying!!! I think I'm going to have to join a gang where they wear their pants riding low.... Yo yo yo!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

There CAN be too much of a good thing.

There's a very nice woman at the fitness center that I run into very often. She is ALWAYS there taking all types of classes. The problem is this woman is skin and bones and when I say bones I mean, you can pretty much see her bones trying to protrude out of her skin. I don't think she has any fat at all on her body and this makes her look, in my opinion, very sickly. I think she works out 3 plus hours a day. I want to be thin, but she is a huge reminder that there is TOO thin.

Today I did BodyFlow this morning. The instructor asked me my name the other day, which I loved because it just makes me feel like a bigger part of the whole fitness world. She's amazing. She is 50 and has an awesomely fit body. And she's a hoot!

Feeling groovy on this cloudy Monday! Hope you are too!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Feeling Feminine

I've noticed lately that with this round of weight loss I've begun to feel more feminine. My wardrobe most days was a tshirt with whatever bottoms - jeans or sweatpants. Now I don't usually go out of the house in a tshirt. I've been putting on makeup more. Accessorizing.

I've also started wearing pretty nighties to bed. One reason is that I get super duper hot at night, even when it's only 70 degrees in our room. The other is that I just feel more like a lady then in cotton stretchy pants and tops. I had a robe that I got for our wedding that's beautifully sheer with satiny trim. I put it on last night and just felt like the most beautiful woman. I don't think I've worn it in seven years.

An annoying plus. I bought a pair of shorts at Walmart for $1 a few months back. Size 24. They are Way too big!! I'm wearing them anyway because I'm putzing around the house today. Then they might just go into the thrift store pile because I wouldn't be comfortable wearing these out as cute as they are.

Happy Sunday and Father's Day. I have a great husband who is also a Fantastic Dad. And an even greater Father God. Have a great one.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Loving compliments

I've started to get a ton of compliments on weight loss...this is very motivating. I'm excited. People at our old church. Friends..acquaintances...(like the kids bus driver) are noticing a change. Even at Body Pump the other day I was doing a side plank and one of the other girls with whom I often take classes with complimented me on it. It's such an awesome feeling.

I have a long way to go though...but the first time I lost this weight, noone really noticed and it depressed me because how the heck can I lose 40 lbs and noone noticed!

I only have 6 hours to go for my exercise goal this quarter. I have 12 days to do it. Piece of cake. I'll be done by next week. SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF MYSELF for setting this tough goal.

Happy Saturday!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Sweat Gets in Your Eyes...

So today I took to the trails to do my C25K. I was getting a little bored running the track at the fitness center. Of course it was sunny and almost 78 degrees by the time I finished running. Was it better? Yes and no. The time did seem to go by a little bit faster, but the sun made it hot and made my fast more sweaty which got into my eyes which made them burn....and I got really thirsty with 10 minutes to go. But I finished it at any rate. I think I'd like to find trails that are specific mileages. Todays trail was around a park...a big circle but small enough that I still had to run around it a few times. I think it would help if I just had one path with no repeat circles.

Yesterday the family and I went geocaching for the first time ever. What fun!! The mosquitoes were horrible, but it was fun using the GPS compass on our iphone to find a little treasure. I think we are going to do more of this in the future!!

Unfortunately my greasy calzone did not do anything for my bowels. Today's remedy - a pint of blueberries (which though I love, usually don't make my stomach all too happy)and milk - but still nothing. This is frustrating. Oh well.

I'm trying to decide whether to sign up for a 5k next week. I have the one planned for October, but I've been feeling a little less motivated in my C25K and with the race so far away I thought maybe I'd throw one in. Even if I walk half of it, it would at least give me the experience...

Happy Friday - off to get some California rolls for lunch!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Food Hangover

Last night I intentionally ate something with a lot of calories and fat. Why intentionally? Because (and this may be TMI) I have been having difficulty with #2. Not completely constipated but it has been very difficult to pass.

The basic questions that come to most people's mind in this situation:

Are you hydrated enough? - Yep - almost a gallon a day!
Are you eating enough fiber? - Yep - lots of fruit and veggies every day!

I think the one thing I have not been having a lot of is fat. Honestly almost everything I eat is nearly fat free (because it is fruit and veggies). So last night I ate a sausage and cheese calzone and some pie in the hopes that it might loosen me up a little.

So far - NOPE! GRRR. And it's left me with what I consider a Food Hangover. Honestly it is probably dehydration from all the salt that is in those foods, but I just feel sickly.

I guess I'll just have to wait for it to pass..literally. (hope that made you chuckle).

I'm resting today because my arms are so SORE from Pilates yesterday. The good sore, muscle working sore. That makes me happy. I already signed up for next Wednesday.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Brave New World of Pilates Reformer

Inspired by other bloggers who are stepping out of their comfort zone, I decided that today I would try a Pilates Reformer class (with the machines). Our fitness membership gives us 4 free Pilates Reformer per month and unlimited Pilates mat classes.

I've always been intimidated by Pilates, thinking it was for those perfectly skinny people and that I could never stretch and bend the way I am supposed to. This is funny a little because I go every week to BodyFlow yoga and I generally don't feel that way there.

I really enjoyed it and felt work in muscles that I haven't really felt before. It works on "lengthening and strengthening" the muscles. I didn't even mind having my feet in the straps up in the air. (it sounds weirder than it is) I am even starting to feel a little sore in places (the good sore). I think I will definitely go back next Wednesday. The instructor said it is better to do the Reformer classes first because with the straps you have to have perfect form. On the mat you can adjust more easily and could be prone to injuries. It's perfect on Wednesdays because there really isn't a class I really want to take Wednesdays.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Not Bigger than A Baby Elephant / Fat Ballerina

I have two posts in my head this morning so I'm going to combine them into one.

First, I am NO LONGER BIGGER THAN A BABY ELEPHANT!!!! I needed to post a weight under 250 in order for me to qualify this in my brain. The average baby elephant weighs 250 lbs at birth (according to the Brookfield Zoo and some websites, but not all) and today I was beneath that!!

I am feeling less crazy today then yesterday and my eating was perfectly fine yesterday as well. I am glad that even though I don't always have great control over my emotions, I am gaining better control over my eating.

Part II - Fat Ballerina

There was a girl in the ballet on Sunday (a teenager) who was much heavier than most of the ballerinas. I'm torn on how I feel about this. Part of me was proud of this young lady for dancing because she loved it (she was on pointe and everything) and not worrying about her body. But there was a part (probably the mother in me) that was sad for her and how much ridicule she must get for being the "fat" ballerina in the studio. She had to be 50 lbs heavier than the other ballerinas. I am torn whether I think her mother is awesome for encouraging her in ballet or annoyed that she is encouraging her daughter to publicly display herself. Don't be outraged at this post. I am working through my thoughts on it. Of course she has every right to do what she loves and I applaud her courageousness. (I am not so brave- I won't even have a family portrait done because I'm so fat). I just was overwhelmingly sad for this girl. Maybe I shouldn't be. I just know too well the ridicule I got as an overweight teenager. I can't imagine how it would be if I donned a tutu and danced in front of an audience of hundreds.

Today I am volunteering at a Workforce program for teens that have been identified as having difficult times interviewing and getting employment. We will be doing mock interviews with these kids and giving them pointers. It should be interesting.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Crazy Behavior

This post isn't about food, although it well could have been. Last night we went to our old church (the one we left in December) for a pie auction to raise money for the youth group trip to Guadalajara, Mexico. Now, it is a good cause and I have no regrets giving money to this, but one of the pies we got went into a bidding war. Now I am competitive by nature but something about the person bidding against me, about not wanting this church to get the better of me once again made it impossible for me to stop bidding. So we ended up donating $300 for 3 pies. Again, I am glad to do it, but I am also sick about it. Sick about my behavior. Sad that I couldn't just let things go and let the guy have one of the pie's for a huge amount of money. I just wanted control, I wanted to feel like I was better than them. People in this church made me feel so small and useless, I just wanted to feel like I wasn't that. I've got a long way to go in that department.

My husband wasn't too impressed with my craziness, but since we haven't been giving to a church for a long while he could allow that it was okay to donate so much and we do care about quite a few of the people going.

So today I'm quite sad, probably sadder than I've been for a while. I have not succumbed to stuffing my face with the pie though. I have had 2 small slices. I think that I thought more people would be excited to see us (for most it has been over 6 months). I thought people would seek us out to talk to us. But not really. People said hi in passing, (a bunch of people commented on how great I looked! (YAY!) but that just made me feel even more insignificant than when we attended there. Completely useless. That it didn't even matter that we left.

Crazy behavior. Now I just need to get passed it...stop thinking about it. It's over and done. Nothing terrible happened. I just want to stop feeling so crappy!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Um, this isn't supposed to fit yet.....

So today is a big day at our house. It is Ballet day! One of my daughters attends a ballet studio that does shows, not recitals. She is a baby swan in a production of Swan Lake. It's very exciting. Of course I want to look nice today so I was perusing my closet. I have a lot of lovely tops, but not so many skirts that match them! On a whim, I pulled out some skirts I bought at Walmart a while ago that didn't fit me, but they were only $1 on clearance. I figured I would at least try them. I put them away at the beginning of the spring because I couldn't even come close to buttoning them. Well this morning, what do you know? They buttoned!! They are a freaking size 18!!!!. Now, These must be a big 18, because often a 22 can be tight depending on the maker. BUT STILL!! An 18!!! Rootin Toot Woo Hoot!!

What an awesome feeling!!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Round 2!

Today I met my first weight goal. I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I'd be, but I did rush right to my computer to update my ticker and put up my next goal. My first goal was 35 lbs, my next goal is 21 lbs. My next goal is related to the lowest weight I've been in the last decade which was 229 lbs right before September 2001. It would be nice if I could make that goal before September 2011, but I'm not going on time. Success is success if it takes 2 months or 10. Originally I was going to start my ticker over to 0, but then I would lose the nifty weight graph at the bottom of my blog which shows my downward progress. That helps me to remember that sometimes I go 5 days with no change. I do not post the small gains because I think that would somehow mentally depress me to see it there.

I'm on target with my exercise goal for the quarter as well. I'm quite proud of what I've done. Thank you all for the encouragement these past few months! Keep it coming!

Friday, June 10, 2011

How'd I get this fat?

Do you ever wonder how you got so fat? In the moment I never really thought about. I never thought about why I gained almost 60 lbs after I got married, because thinking about those things causes shame, and who wants to feel that? But now that I have lost a bit I can think about it with a little more clarity and peace of my mind. So here are tips to not get so fat:

1) Do not choose to live next to a Chinese Restaurant with cheap lunch specials.
2) Do not choose to live next to a convenience store which sells Hostess Snack Cakes
3) Do not eat Suzy Q's with your lunch every day through high school
4) Do not eat a box of Little Debbies, a whole Bag of Chips, a half gallon of icecream at one sitting repeatedly.
5) Do not buy the 2/$1 Hostess Honey Buns repeatedly and scarf them both down in a minute.
6) Do not spend most of your waking hours in front of the TV or computer.
7) Do not eat Ramen Noodles every day you are not buying Chinese from the restaurant next door.
8) Do not order fries with every cafeteria meal at work/school
9) Do not buy multiple candy bars daily and eat them
10) Do not eat a whole package of rolls and lunch meat at one time.
11) Do not eat a can of frosting just because you can.
12) Do not drink 6+ cans of Diet Coke per day and no other beverages.

Yes, I have done all of these at some point or another, many multiple times. And THAT is how I ended up being 307 lbs at my highest weight in 2006.

Yesterday I fit into my wedding dress.(worn in 2003). My daughter said "Mom, why are you wearing that?" I told her I wanted to see it fit. I told my husband I was happy to be back at the weight where he fell in love with me. :) I don't want to be that fat again. I'm happy now knowing that I am making better choices. I am feeling better, I am looking better. :) If I can give up all 12 things above, anyone can. I have lost almost 57 lbs since my highest weight (35 lbs this last go around). That is pretty amazing to me.

I think I'll keep going...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I am the Karate Kid!

Well...not really..but I did have posters of Ralph Macchio on my wall as a teenager. Do girls still do that - put hunky boy posters on their walls?

Today in BodyFlow we did some new tracks (well old ones I had never been around before to do) and in the balance track we did the crane! If you have seen Karate Kid, it's the move he learns which basically wins him the tournament. Well, we did not do the kick, but we did put our hands out like the bird and balance on one foot while the other was raised for a while :). It made me happy.

Today is the 2nd day of summer vacation. It has been so nice not having to get two kids ready and fed by 8AM every morning including making lunch!

On an unrelated note, I am obsessed with picking my scabs...anyone else? I swear I am going to have a ton of scars on my arms from mosquito and bug bites because I can't leave them alone to heal!!! GRRRRRR!!

Are you watching my tickers....I'm very close to one goal. ;) Very exciting for me! I did actually without thinking about it made another goal I made in 2009 here

I fit into my wedding dress! The waist part was right but the top part was huge!! Which just confirms all my weight is lost from my top half!!

Yay! Just yay!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Adorable Blog Award

I'm always so flattered when other bloggers give me awards. When I first started this blog in 2009 I received some blog awards and I never could figure out how to post the pictures back up here...I decided that I would try to learn this morning and VOILA!!

So THANK YOU Hilary! You can follow Hilary over at
I love her blog!

The Rules:

Thank the person who gave you the award with a link to their blog.
Tell us 10 things about yourself.
Nominate other bloggers and let them know about the award.

Ten Things About Me:

1) I love Paris. I have been there 3 times in the last 8 years. My cat is named Paris.
2) Musicals are great! Showboat is my favorite. It's old, but I LOVE IT!
3) I once was hit on by an Amish man in Pennsylvania on the bus going to Walmart.
4) I've been married for almost 8 years.
5) My dog is named Fenway after the Boston Red Sox.
6) I grew up in Rhode Island, lived in Massachusetts for 3 years, in Pennsylvania for 4 years and now have lived in Chicagoland for almost 4 years.
7) I majored in History and got my degree when I was 32.
8) I am fascinated by the Black Death (plague)
9) I did not learn to drive until I was 25
10) Most of my favorite foods are fruits. Bananas, Fresh Pineapple, Strawberries

Now to nominate some other bloggers.
- I love Leah's blog. She has lost about 50 lbs, has run a 5K and is just all around inspiring
- Amanda just recently started her blog, so kudos to her! She's about 2 months or so into her journey and I'm glad to be following her along!
- I'd be surprised if Melissa hasn't already gotten this award a billion times because she and her blog ARE adorable. Melissa is working hard to battle weight AND insulin resistance and she loves and works in theater! (See my number 2) LOVE her blog!

I really get so much inspiration and encouragement from my fellow bloggers. Thank you so much for reading me and commenting. It helps me more than you could ever know!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Week 6 of C25K complete!!!

I finished week 6 of the Couch to 5K program today. This means that I walked briskly for 5 minutes, jogged for 25 minutes and then cooled down for 5 minutes. Yes, that is right...this overweight body was able to jog for 25 minutes!! Now the rest of the training is all jogging. Next week is all 25 minutes, the week after all 30 minutes! Crazy and amazing that I am able to do this!!

I finally got a visit from Aunt Flo. I looked back 2 weeks ago (which would have been ovulation) and I was having a blue few days. Now 2 weeks BEFORE that I was kind of crazy too, so maybe I just am crazy every two weeks! HAHA!

I'm feeling pretty good...tired from the craziness of the girls birthday and a surprise visit from my sister in law and her 5 kids. My eating hasn't been too bad actually. I did have some of the girls birthday cake, but it was way too sweet to eat that much of it.

I've been almost 3 months free of Diet Coke. My taste buds have definitely changed and can notice more things. Things that are too sweet really disgust me know. I think it is because I do not constantly have the sweet taste of DC in my mouth. I am disappointed though that all this drinking of water is not really making my skin any less dry..

I feel good.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Belt it Out!

Do you wear belts? I have never worn a belt for two reasons. 1) They just seem uncomfortable to me and 2) Once I read a review of Rosie O'donnell when she had worn a belt on her show and it said something like "Fat people shouldn't wear belts". But I am having a falling down problem. I'm not small enough for a 20W but I'm wearing a 22W today and these are loose (although not a stretchy waist band, it is the stretchy spandex material). So I'm thinking about belts. Do I get one, or do I just pull up my pants until I can fit into a smaller size? Do they cut off your circulation at the waist and leave a big red mark? I'm very curious!

During yoga today I was able to bend at my waist with feet as wide as my ankles and touch my head to the floor. That was fun.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Happy Birthday Angels

Almost 6 years ago the two most beautiful things came into my life. They were 1 week old. For two years we were unsure whether they would stay in our lives forever, but thankfully they did. Today we celebrate our twin girls 6th birthday. They are not always easy, but they have allowed me to experience giving a love greater than I've ever known I've had. The heart bursting, if you hurt them I will come after you type of love.

We will head out for breakfast, then church (another one to try) and then have a fun kid party with 11 of their kindergarten friends. It will be fun.

We got them presents of course, but in my mind I think that I am giving them gift far greater than can be wrapped. I am making myself healthier so I can be around for them for a long time. They may not understand that, but I do. I know that I want to be able to celebrate grandchildren with them someday. So to my birthday angels: Mommy loves you and my gift to you for each year is to make myself healthy so you will have me as long as possible!!

Have a great Sunday!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

I'm almost cured!!

This morning I had a therapy session. It's been 2 months since the last session and I haven't felt like I needed to go once. Therapy has been a great tool for me to deal with some of my stuff and my behaviors. One of the greatest things about it for me was to realize that other people are responsible for their own actions and I can't do much about it and recognize when something is about me and when it has nothing to do with me.

My therapist was very thrilled with my progress and while I'm not quite ready to end our professional relationship, I have pushed my session to 3 months (when the girls go back to school). She's available if I need her, but I'm feeling so much better than I have.

I finished week 6 day 2 of the couch 2 5K this morning. Next time it is a 25 minute jog no walking. I did the 20 minutes last week without a problem so this should be okay.

I'm having a lovely day. My babies turn 6 tomorrow! Can't believe it. They are the most precious things. They keep telling me I'm getting skinny!!! LOVE THEM!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

In Control, Out of Control...

Anger makes me lose control of my eating. Today I was angry at our deck contractors because they keep giving me the run around and the scheduling manager is just a jacka$$. After I got off the phone I felt it - the urge to binge, to lose control of my eating because I clearly was not in control of my emotions. I called my hubby - he was busy at work...I called my best friend - she had company over - I called my other friend - he didn't answer...I needed to vent but I had no outlet, so I ate.....strawberries!! About 10 of them in all, in rapid succession.

While I do need to commend myself for not going in the pantry and eating the chips, the brownies, the cookies and all the snack foods for hubby and kids, I really didn't like that feeling. I haven't had it in a while....the "I'll binge or die trying" feeling. I survived though.

And after a threat to fire the deck contractors don't you know they were able to schedule me first thing tomorrow morning! Isn't it wonderful how their schedule just worked itself out. GRR! This was part of my conversation to the scheduling manager who was giving me a hard time about being pushy (since I have been waiting a month and have repeatedly been told that we were scheduled)
"I would like to know why you are treating me like you are doing me a big favor by staining my deck? You are not doing it for free. I am paying you over $1000 to do this, and I hired you over a month ago. I can reasonably expect that you will not keep pushing me off for other customers.

Got to love being a grownup sometimes!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Work out Buddies

Do you have one? I've decided I don't want one. The trainer I met with yesterday thought that getting a buddy might help me be less bored doing weights. I opposed this idea. I think that relying on anyone for anything in this weight loss battle is a big mistake for me. Because I'm the type of person that can make excuses for anything, so the first time my buddy cancels, I'm toast. Then I would go into a cycle of blaming another person for my own faults and weight (which would not be accurate or beneficial). There is part of me that feels strong for wanting (and being able) to do this on my own. No one helped me eat the food and gain the weight, it seems only right, for me, that I take it off myself, at my own pace, with my own goals.

My next two goals will be smaller ones. Less weight and less exercise. I realize that my body will slow down a bit so I don't want to set a goal that would take forever to get to. My exercise goal will be a bit less for a couple of reasons. One is that it is summer and a bit harder with the kids and activities. The other is that I had a very tough quarter goal. It only allowed for one day off a week. I will probably lesson it to two days off a week and work on upping my intensity. I will keep the exercise goal by the yearly quarter though.

Have a great Monday!!!