Best Comment EVER!

So Tuesdays is my double exercise day - Spin and Pump. It is also the day that has the most fun, most encouraging class mates ever! One of my buddies says to me yesterday "You are doing awesome, but if you get thin before I do, I'm going to have to kick your a$$!!!"

I LOVE IT!!! THe one guy in my group said he noticed the weight loss of course, but he says that he saw it in my personality. That I'm more bubbly and I talk to more people and look happier. All unsolicited compliments. Where have they been all my life??

Hopefully these type of posts don't discourage you! If I can get there, so can you!!! And I mean this in all sincerity. I am (almost) 37 years old and I am doing this. It's never too late to start.

Happy Wednesday!!

Come Scale Away...

I put the scale away this week. It won't go away forever, but I was getting a little mentally stuck with it. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, so I will wait until after that to take it back out. I still have lost at least 8 lbs in August, but it's the lowest that I've lost since March. Damn vacation! Damn PMS! Damn emotions!

The cat is still gone, but I'm doing much better emotionally. Yesterday I ate perfectly. Today, so far I have been perfect. Getting exercise...all is good.

I've been catching up on my movies since the girls have been in school. This week I have watched:

Source Code (Loved IT!)
The Adjustment Bureau - (Liked It)
The Serious Man (Turned it off about 45 minutes in - didn't get it)
Queen to Play (Jouesse) French film - (Liked it)
Poetry (Korean film) - Sad, touching, okay.
Jane Eyre (beautiful but bored me)
Singin' in the Rain (LOVED it! - can't believe I've never seen it!)





Happy Monday

I wish I could tell you...

...that I had a perfect weekend of eating and non binging. I cannot.

Saturday we had a very fun day at the Wisconsin Renaissance Faire. The girls had a blast. Of course the food choices weren't very good, so I just ate my girls leftovers and had an ice cream cone. We walked a lot, so I wasn't too disappointed with this.

Saturday night, my cat got out (she is an indoor cat)and she has not come back yet. We live with a lot of woods around our house with a lot of foxes, coyotes, deer, etc. I can't say I'm terribly optimistic for her return. This made me so sad.

Sunday. I ate probably 6 Hostess Cupcakes and maybe 10 graham crackers. I did however, forgo the Chinese food and didn't eat dinner.

This really is the most traumatic thing that has happened to me since March. We've had this cat for 7 years. It's just so sad. I am not proud of how I dealt with my emotions, however I am proud that even though it was my suggestion to get Chinese, I didn't eat any. I am proud that I got up this morning and walked 4 miles, then went and did Body Flow. I am proud that I have maintained eating healthy all day today.

I'm still sad, but these little victories make me realize how far I've come!!

XL Rated! (and my fitness center testimonial)

Oh yes I did just buy clothes at the consignment shop that were an XL and NOT a 1x! (I need to rebuild my fall/winter wardrobe! This just rocks. There are so many more wonderful clothing choices when you drop down into regular clothes. YAY!

I did the fitness testimonial today. Two young women interviewed me and took some photos of me. They just asked what I liked about the club, the classes I took, etc. I asked them if I could come back when I'd gotten close to the journey's end and they were very enthusiastic about that. If/when they post the pictures on line, I will of course link to it here!

Happy Friday. Tomorrow we are off the the Wisconsin Ren Faire. It should be fun.

It never gets old...

When buying clothes is a smaller size, the excitement never gets old.

When people compliment me and tell me how good I am looking, the pleasure never ceases (although some pressure can get added)

I realized that I (and probably many of you) hide in sizes too large. I know I did. This is why I got rid of everything that was even slightly too big. ANy size 24 and most of size 22 are gone forever. It's hard because something big will never be snug and unless it is falling off of us will make us feel comfortable. Today I bought size 16-18 workout gear at Walmart. (Danskin makes great workout clothes in plus sizes available at Walmart) I wrestled with myself about it though. Here was the process

Self: Hmm..maybe I should get the 2x (20-22) Then I'll be sure they fit.

Self2: Um, you goof. You are wearing the 20-22 right now and they are getting loose.

Self: Yeah, but if I got the 16-18 and they are or look tight, I would just have to bring them back, and that's a pain.

Self2: Well, isn't it better to buy something that *might* be more snug and work to make it less so than to buy something you will have to give to the thrift store in 2 months?

Self: I suppose that does make sense. I hate baggy things. Ok 16-18 it is.

So my smart Self won this battle. It just made me think of how so many times I kept bigger clothes and wore them on the days I "felt" fat. Now I just have a lot of normal clothes. And that is good.

Oh, and the 16-18 fit perfectly well.

Thinking of Christmas

I know...too early right? I just got my kids off on the school bus for the first day of 1st grade. But here is what I'm thinking....I have never done a family portrait professionally. Sure we have a lot of photos with me and Kev in the kids in them, but none taken by someone else. But this year, I'm doing it. I'm not so ashamed.

Now, onto some cleaning..I'll be taking SHbAM tonight so no work out this morning. Having lunch out with a friend and then just basking in the quietness.

Scale is continuing down again. I love this and I hate it... I hate many days where I don't lose weight and then all of a sudden I'm losing 1 lb per day (can we all say "WATER RETENTION") But it is VERY exciting to watch the scale move so fast. :)

Have a fabulous Wednesday!!

FINALLY!

11 days and finally a loss. I hate those long stretches. I think my previous longest stretch was 10 days. I think they are always around my TOM, retaining water and constipation. This may be gross, but constipation annoys me. When you go 4 days without doing the business it is very frustrating. I eat tons of fiber so I think it is totally related to the TOM.

Hopefully now I will keep moving down for a month before the cycle starts all over.

Happy Tuesday!!

They are Ready, I am Ready

Tonight is meet the teacher(s) night at my kids' school and they start back on Wednesday. We are all ready for them to get back into a routine. I am ready to get back to having a super duper clean house and to get back to walking the dog after they get on the bus. I'm eagerly awaiting the fall schedule for the fitness center. I hope there aren't too many changes, since I really am in a good groove with my schedule.

So I have been wondering something lately about church people (of which I am one). I belong to two book groups - one is from our old church and it is all about mothering. There's about 9-10 ladies who get together once a month. The other is the one I started last October and we read different books each month based on a members choice. Most are not church goers and again are 9 ladies. When I go to the non church one, all the ladies each month are just so affirming of my efforts, telling me how awesome I look and are interested in what I'm doing. At my moms group, no-one says a word about my weight loss at all. I thought about this and historically, every time I've tried to lose weight and have had some success, those of my friends who I know from church NEVER talk about it, while others are freely complimenting.

I don't want to be too narcissistic here. I don't want to be fishing for compliments, But it just makes me think, because here are two groups, both women, both meet once a month and the one that is the most affirming is the one that is NOT affiliated with a church/God. This doesn't change my own faith, but it is just something I've become aware of. Don't misunderstand, all these ladies are lovely, and when I'm in the depths, (which I haven't been in for some time) they are encouraging. I'm just a firm believer in encouraging ALL the time.

Happy Monday, all!

Foods that get me through each day

There are a few things that are helping me immensely in this journey of weight loss

Alfalfa Sprouts - I eat them daily on a turkey wrap for lunch
Josephs Lavash - It's a flax seed wrap for 100 calories
Basil Leaves - I eat these on sandwiches too
Apple Straws by sensible portions - 38 sticks for 130 calories.
Blueberries
Eggs
80 Calorie Whole Wheat English muffins.

Hormonal Hell

Gah - If having a stressful trip to MO wasn't enough, I just got TOM so my emotions (and sometimes eating) have been all out of whack. I have been exercising each day however and am generally fine with a few small binges. (3 Nutty Bars and a Sausage and Cheese Calzone from Rosatis)

So in all my emotional, hormonal state I got a little bit blue when i think of how many compliments I've gotten lately from everywhere...I spent so many years lonely and sad without encouragement. It's overwhelming to me. And I think "what the hell? Is this what is worth everything to people? Could they find nothing worth complimenting all those years?" This blueness will pass with TOM for sure...But it's out there...I'm dealing with it and moving forward.

Slow August

I have no complaints overall with my loss..it's just been a slow August. I knew eventually that my body would slow down, get used to routine...I need to change things up a bit. I'm looking forward to school starting so I can get some long walks in. I think adding this in will for sure help keep my losses going.

Had my daughters best little buddy over today so I didn't get to bodyflow this am...going to zumba in a little bit...

Back from Misery (Missouri)

I hate traveling to visit family. Mine or hubby's. It screws with me. Big time.

It's an 8 hour drive to hubby's sisters house. We get there in time for our niece's birthday party. 5 minutes there my daughter cuts her foot on a glass music box that was on the messy messy messy floor of her children's room. Now, I'm not talking cluttered. I'm talking a small circular spot where you could put your feet, but it's covered with small pieces of something..(crayon wrappers, dirt, crumbs, papers..who knows). It was an accident but I was furious. Why on earth would you allow your children to be like that..especially when you also have a 2 year old that you run around...and why on earth wouldn't you have them clean it when company is coming? Her foot was cut but we didn't need to go into the e/r thankfully (however my SIL says she's had plenty of experience there with her 5 kids)...grr..

THEN after about 30 minutes my SIL and MIL leave to go pick up the cake at Dairy Queen...but then my MIL has to take my niece to Walmart to pick out her birthday present. (DURING THE PARTY TIME!!) She took the niece that is closest in age to my two as well with her. So we waited more than an HOUR for them to get back. Why didn't my mother in law take her another time? Who knows? Why did she wait for everyone to get there to leave? No idea. Did it piss me off that we just drove 8 hours to have them leave for an hour - YOU bet it did! (Apparently they do this every time.) Then of course my SIL asks when we are coming down again) My mind is screaming NEVER....

So what did this do to me...well the Dairy Queen cake never tasted so good. All 3 pieces. My eating was pretty crappy all weekend. I mean it is vacation. But I know all too well what emotional family stress can do. I made it a point to work out as soon as we got home today.

That first day was really the only miserable one. The last 2 were just fine (except my daughter, who is 6 - for some reason kept pooping her pants). We went to a Kansas City Royals, Yankees game - and it was a lot of FUN! And I got some great pictures...ones that when I looked at I said "Wow, I can really tell the difference on me". Here are a couple






Back to the plan though as of 4PM today. Went to Spin, then to pump, ate the healthy dinner..

Beware of Becoming Too Critical

I've been in this groove now since the end of March - almost 5 months now. I noticed the other day that I've started becoming critical of other people in my classes. For instance, this one girl who never stretches at the end of the Spin class and just keeps on spinning. The instructors ALWAYS say how important stretching your muscles is after a workout....And then my body pump class where Women barely put 2 lbs on each side for the back track..one of the stronger muscle groups.

I need to reign this in. I need to remember that everyone is in a different place in their journey. Some people might have injuries. And if they are exercising just to exercise with no goal in mind or no need to press themselves, that that is their business, not mine.

I know what works for me and that's it...it works for ME. I need to keep rejoicing in my own successes and not worrying about other people so much. Anyone else have this problem???

Septic Shane and Heading off for the weekend...

Posts will be scarce for the weekend. We are heading down to Kansas City to visit my husband's family. I hate being out of a routine for 4 days but, this is life. I've been doubling up with workouts this week, in the event that I don't get much exercise in. There will be natural exercise of course...walking around whatever museum we go to...but not my usual.

I did decide to do the interview at the fitness center. It will be for August 26th. I want to honor the instructors that have been with me all along. And I guess, also, that it would be a good to have something to look back on and say look how far I've come!

THIS JUST IN: We had our septic tank cleaned out today and we always have the same guy (Shane) come and do it now for the last few years. He looked at me and said "You look different". I told him I had lost 60 lbs and he says "That must be why!". WHAT A THRILL. For a person who only sees me once a year for about 30 minutes to notice that I look different! Thrilled to the Brim!! AGAIN.

I'm going to leave it there.

Why I Weigh Every Day

A great portion of weight loss programs and many weight loss experts dissuade people from weighing every day or from weighing at all. For some, like Dawn at anewdawnforme.blogspot.com this works fabulously. Dawn is going by clothes sizes instead of pounds. (And she's doing an amazing job.) Me - I need a little bit more than that. I weigh almost every day. And it keeps me going.

This week showed a good reason of why I think weighing in daily works. On Saturday, I weighed 229, on Monday I weighed 236 because I believe I was retaining water due to a vigorous Pilates workout from Saturday which left me VERY sore. If I weighed in weekly and my weigh in day was Monday I would have shown a gain from the prior week even though I'd been pretty spot on in exercising and food choices. This would have messed with my head and I would have been very frustrated. I'd have to wait another week to see if I lost it all again and most likely would start depriving myself, starving myself, in order to see the scale go down again.

Discouragement is a weight loss killer. I see it time and time again where people have a gain and are so SAD. Then discouragement can equal bad food choices because our efforts feel pointless. I can understand that, especially if you've been working hard. Our bodies know what we need and keep what it needs to use.

Ultimately, you must do what works for you. For some weighing every day would drive them crazy. For me it is a stabilizer. If I have a loss, I post it to my weight loss ticker (which feeds to the chart at the bottom of the blog.) I don't post the gains because some days there is a .5 to 1 lb gain due to water retention I'm sure. But there's a pattern to the losses and it's a pretty consistent slope downward. That's what I'm aiming for. Consistency. Something for life. And it's working for me.

I Could Be A TV Star!!

Ok, well maybe not a star...but..

Yesterday someone from the fitness center called and asked if I would be willing to come in and tell my weight loss story and they would video it and maybe use it in their marketing!!

I haven't decided yet if I'll do it. I am so far from where I want to be, and generally I feel like such a dork when I talk, like people look at me with 2 heads...but maybe.... H
ere's how my facebook Peeps weighed in:

Keri: that's awesome......not pressure, motivation! : )

Kiersten: I was sitting in the office when they called you! That's awesome!

Keri: Jodie, this could inspire many women (and men) who think it's too late or impossible to change their lifestyles.....this is a great thing to do....and let's face it, you're way better looking than Jarred from Subway!! ; )

Amanda: I agree w/Keri--you should be proud of your hard, hard work and it would be so inspirational to other women! What a great thing to get asked to do!

Brenda: AWESOMENESS! You can do it!

Emily: That's amazing...just like you.

Janet: your humility will show so go for it!

Janis: Oh my goodness Jodie!! Make the video and send it to me!! I need some inspiration girl! Way to go!!!

So what do you all think?? Should I go for it, or ask to wait til I've lost more?

So my weight is coming down. Like Diandra said in my comments it might have been to my sore muscles from Pilates on Saturday. I was REALLY Sore. Although I haven't read anything "official' about sore muscles retaining water, I did read that the reason they hurt is because of water retention pressing on the torn muscles.

Have a great day!

WTF?!?!?

I am for some reason retaining a whole lot of something. Today I way 6 lbs more than last Thursday and there is no way I have gained this!! This sucks!!! Ugh. It can mess with you when one day you weigh 229 and 4 days later you weigh 236! I did eat more ghan usual this weekend, but not crazy and certAinly not six lbs of calories worth!!! And I exercised every day of the weekend! This is my first GRrrr post in a while. Blah

Bob. And an awesome website.

Yesterday I took Pilates in the morning. I have been doing Pilates over the last month and I like it, but I haven't been in love with it. I have a cousin who swear by it and she's thin and beautiful, so I feel like I should give it a try. Well, I know now why I haven't loved it...

The instructor yesterday was Bob. He's been a Pilates trainer for 15 years. Some of his classes are always booked so I thought I'd try him out. He was AWESOME! The class moved so quickly. He would change every one's springs and tensions as to not slow down the class. He would correct form and approve when you would do it right. My body today - sore! This is what I want from a workout. The other instructor was very nice, but I swear we only did half of what we did in Bob's class. I am a believer!!

Here is an awesome website for nutritional data. I love it.
http://nutritiondata.self.com/

Have A Sensational Sunday!!

Things I want to try/change

I've made great strides in a lot of areas, but there are a few things I still want to change in my habits.

Not eating after 7:00PM. I have a terrible habit of snacking a lot at night..mostly out of boredom I think. It's usually not terrible food, but it is unnecessary.

Eating less fruit and only at breakfast. You are only *supposed* to have 2-3 servings of fruit per day. I have more like 5-6. I am determined to only eat fruit at breakfast.

Make breakfast larger and other meals smaller. Currently I've been eating a medium breakfast, Large lunch and small to medium supper. I'd like to make it a large breakfast, medium lunch and small to medium supper.

Eliminate all bananas. I can't have them. It's a trigger food. (but just for more bananas) I can't eat just one. I thought I'd be stronger now, but I can't. They are a high glycemic food anyhow.

Be more aware of the GLycemic Index of my food. Because I have PCOS I am supposed to eat a lower GI diet. I haven't worried about this too much because I had to worry about a lot of other things. But it's probably time I start thinking more about this. Naturally I already eat a pretty low carb diet, but there is room for improvement.

These aren't goals per se, but just areas that I'd like to improve on. I've been doing so well that they aren't currently NECESSARY for anything, but ways I think will help me continue to feel great!!

Have a Satisfying Saturday - I'm off to Pilates!!

The T-Shirt Ban

I've all but banned T-shirts from my daily attire (with the exception of when I'm cleaning the house.

All my life I've worn t-shirts that were even a size larger than they could/should have been to hide the fat and hide the arms. Even though I still have fat and still have big arms, I don't want to wear them. Maybe it's because they hide the progress, but really I think it is because they make me FEEL fat. Obese. Like I should hide behind the fabric of a large, shapeless t-shirt. I do have 2 t-shirts that are more fitted that I will wear on occasion. But other than that, my t-shirt drawer remains barely opened.

The summer has been spent wearing sleeveless tops. I've got the best tan I've had in my entire (almost) 37 years of life. And you know what? I've only been complimented all summer, not ridiculed for showing my fat arms. I used to admire fat girls who wore tank tops and short skirts. Because they seemed to have a self confidence that I lacked. Losing this weight is giving me so much self confidence.

Are you hiding in your stretchy fabrics? I challenge you to break out of it! Leave the elastic bands behind! (The only elastic bands I have are in my workout pants not day to day clothes!)

Have a Fabulous Friday! :)

Welcome Back to 2001

I've met my second weight loss goal today. I am now the lowest I've been since 2001. 10 years of weight gain = GONE!! Woohoo!

Weight Loss: Since March 2011 - 56 lbs
Weight Loss: Since January 2011 - 61.5 lbs
Weight Loss: Since all time high - 78 lbs!!

I feel great. I took Sh'Bam last night and ran into Therese who was the first instructor I had back in 2009. She told me she barely recognized me, I looked different. And after class, she told me it was amazing because I was actually dancing and keeping up and the last time she had me in Sh'bam I had to leave early and I couldn't keep up with the dancing. She wants to give my name to the head of the fitness center so I might be considered for a story in the Newsletter. I told her she could, but I still have a long way to go. It is exciting either way.

I also now have less than 100 lbs to lose. That's a great feeling.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the County Fair and we rode all the carnival rides. We had a blast. And I went on ALL of the rides with them (except the tall slide). A year ago, I would have been too embarrassed. Too afraid of breaking the ride, too thick to have the bars come down over me to secure me in place. Yesterday, it was all good! I was so happy to be sharing such fun things with my girls. I've come a long way, baby!!

Have a Thankful Thursday!! :)

The New Non Emotional Me.

First, welcome to my newer readers!! Glad to have you along on this journey. The encouragement that bloggers give is just so incredibly awesome!

This morning I was thinking about why I have so much blogger (writer's) block. I always have something to say, but I'm finding it harder to come up with things to write about. I mentioned this before that there is good in that because I'm "DOING" instead of "TALKING". But I realized this morning that some of it is because I am less emotional.

No worries, I still cry at Titanic and the Notebook...but overall, I am not so unstable. Things don't tick me off as much. I'm not as likely to fly off the handle for the littlest things. I don't need to call a friend just to vent. I'm not in a general state of annoyance. Over the last 5 months I've cut out almost all processed foods AND Diet Coke. I think that having stable blood sugar levels might be the cause of this. I'm not binging 3000 calories at a sitting. I have no caffeine in me.

So I wonder then, am I becoming boring, and...old (gasp!) I will be 37 in a little over a month. The greys are coming fast and furious. Nah...I'm not boring...just settling into a calmer state of life! :)

Waiting for the Water

I've started a new ritual. I will not eat my breakfast until I have had 32 oz of water. I will wait until that huge big 32 oz cup (that I got from WW one of those times years ago that I failed at it) is empty. Then I will eat. I really think this is helping me to start my day off well and helping me also to be able to drink all 128 oz a day that I like (make myself) drink each day.

I am VERY convinced that drinking more water helps in the weight loss. I've experienced it. It's how the fat gets flushed out. It keeps you from holding water in. I don't love having to pee a lot. But it's worth it to me. To see the scale go down..to get closer to my goals.

Speaking of goals, I'm very close to meeting my second weight goal, which is to weigh less than I have in this decade. In 2001 I had lost about 40 lbs right before 9/11. Then the Towers were hit and I said "Who cares, we could die tomorrow!" And I gained every single pound plus some back. I sat down the other day and wrote down what each of my next goals will be. I'll share them here.

When I reach this next goal I will be 229 lbs.
The next goal will be 213 lbs (what I last remember weighing in high school)
The next goal will be 199 (to be under 200)
The next goal will be 180 (where I go from obese to overweight)
to be continued....

I could potentially reach all these goals by the end of the year. Which would also mean that I would have lost over 100 lbs by the end of the year. That sounds exciting. I haven't done goals by amount of lbs lost. I'm not sure why but aiming for a certain number of lbs lost seems to work against me. So I aim for a number I want to be.

My original goal for 2011 (before I started setting mini goals) was to weigh 212 by 2012. (I think). It looks like I will be achieving this! So happy.

Astounding August

I had a great July - it seemed long though...down 12.5lbs for the month. I excited for a new month and I hope it's astounding. I know that even though I lost the weight, I didn't work as hard as I could have, didn't eat as well as I could have, didn't have as much water. I am not disappointed at all with my loss, don't get me wrong. I just feel like I often did in college when I did a paper the night before, didn't proofread it and still got an A. So my goal for August is to be even just a little bit better.

I had a discussion with one of the fitness instructors of Body Pump about increasing weights. She said that often times you might only do a few reps at a higher weight before you have to take them off. The next time you do a little more...etc...until eventually you will be able to do a whole track with a higher weight. I think weight loss is like that. It takes a bit of time to work into a routine and each month it should get better and better and we should get stronger and stronger.

Yesterday I went through my closet and pulled out my too big clothes. I was a little sad about getting rid of a few dresses that I do love. They actually could be worn and didn't *look* terrible, but felt huge. I am trying not to hold onto "What If" clothes. I've always kept clothes just in case. Not this time. I threw out a bunch of too big underwear this past weekend too. It was time. They were falling down. (and sometimes bringing my pants with them). It's a good feeling (however I am very frugal, so getting rid of stuff I paid for sometimes bugs me!)

How will you make your August Astounding, Amazing, All In?
I love reading your blogs!