I'm reading a book called Feminine Appeal: 7 Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother. It's a really good book. One of the things it talks about is appearance. It does say that vanity is bad, but that looking beautiful for your husband is good. That we should strive to be beautiful (inside and out) for our husbands.
Now, I grew up in the 80's and entered the work force in the 90's. Women were powerful and I admired it! But I thought that being feminist and being feminine weren't compatible. I believe that the mind is the most important part of any human being and I wasn't interested in being beautiful. Only smart. I didn't want to lose weight because I didn't want people to be more interested in me just because I was skinny. I wanted to be respected for brains.
While the motivation behind this was decent, like everything that was my life it was not balanced. Taking proper care of yourself earns respect from people. I know that now. And taking time to make yourself beautiful, because you feel good when you do and it pleases your husband is not a bad thing. It only enhances you.
Now, I still believe that women can be powerful and should strive for excellence. I have many friends whose greatest desire is for the daughters to grow up and marry a nice man. My great desire is for my girls to go to college, find what they love to do in life and THEN find and marry a nice man. My girls are beautiful. I have no doubt that someone will fall in love with them someday. But I want them to have both brains and beauty. I want them to be both Feminist AND Feminine. To know they are respected for both what they look like and what they can do.
Today I am "auditioning" for the worship team at church. It's not a big deal, but the leader just wants to hear my sing and blend with them. It's a big deal for me in one way though, because I'm stepping out and putting what I can do out there. I'm no superstar singer, but I can sing. And at my last church I felt squashed by people that I wasn't good enough. (my opinion and feelings). So I'm trying a new bold approach. Not waiting to be asked, but initiating! If it doesn't go well, so be it, but I have hope.