I'm happy, kind of ecstatic really about something things that have been happening in my mind. One of the things that I wanted to achieve when I first started this blog in August of 2009 was a sense of feeling "normal". I believe I am slowly but surely getting there.
Last night we had friends over for a meal. I made spaghetti and meatballs with a green salad and some fantastic bread. I had a little of all of it. I had a glass of merlot. I ate a couple (or few) of the lemon bars I made. All without guilt!! Because I know that I have been very consistent with my exercising and eating (with the exception of that one crazy day which I will officially now blame on PMS.) So I KNOW that one day of eating a little bit higher calories will not make me gain back all the weight I lost.
One of my favorite readers and reads - Dawn (From a New Dawn for Me) was writing about balance today and how often we tend to push ourselves to extremes where we are afraid to eat anything that isn't on our plan or isn't good for us. It causes us so much stress and anxiety, like one bite will be our undoing. For some, this is the case. Leslie, from Something Brilliant is Brewing,(who I have been following the longest and who has followed me the longest) tackles this in her life and her blog. She knows that certain things WILL in fact set her off on a binge, so it is important for her to stick to a plan. Others of us have trigger foods that we know to avoid, but don't have to avoid all carbs or sugars, or whatever it is that triggers.
Each one must find a balance in their life. I felt that balance last night. Knowing the good I've done, allowing myself to eat normally without shame and moving on the next day with the same determination to stay normal and healthy that I had the day before. I need to watch PMS because that is a trigger...the emotions that come with it...
Being able to enjoy a meal without shame and fear is what makes me feel normal. And that makes me HAPPY!