Monday, October 19, 2009


Okay...when I don't blog for a few days its because I've nothing good to blog. Have I been terribly bad - Not really. But I know I haven't been good. I haven't exercised in days. I have a general malaise about me. I need to suck it up and move on....just having trouble.

On Wednesday I start a 12 week program at the Fitness Center. It is 2 nights a week. One night we meet with a dietician and/or a wellness coach. The other night we meet with a personal trainer.
(the lady who lost 200 lbs).

I may just be in revolt because I know its coming up. I'm rather competitive and there are 9 others in the program. I know I'll be working hard. I just also don't deal with stress well.

There's the friend/Halloween thing, and then there's Thanksgiving travel plans, where I need to see family and take care of some unpleasant things.

Then there are church stresses of doing ministry.

Then there is just life. I spend too much timing thinking about what wasn't, what is, what will not be. It's depressing.

So there it is, and there I am.


  1. The only competition you truly have is the competition to better yourself. Try to compete with others and you can never really win.
    Let it go. friend.

  2. Jodie, I know the feeling! I hope you are feeling more positive soon. Good luck with your program.

  3. Hi Jodie, Good for you for breaking your silence and putting some of that stuff out here. I have a friend who is an acupuncturist and into Chinese Medicine. She says the season of fall and on into winter caused a lot of internal upheaval and mood fragility in all people. I guess some folks seem to be able to be in better denial. For myself, I know that when I'm being pretty disciplined and clean with my food and exercise, I feel more stuff - hard stuff. Adding back in some extra food, even if it isn't bingeing, definitely numbs some of it out. It sounds like you're moving through it, feeling it, and not self destructing in the process.

    You're doing fantastic, and will continue to. This journey is not a straight line! Back and forth, up and down. The people issues and stressors of life keep nipping at us, as does good stuff. We just don't mind when the good stuff hooks us! Just hang in there and keep posting about it as much as you need. It helps, as you know.

    What kind of ministry are you involved in? I was a Stephen's minister at my church a long time ago. Have a good day. Your blog buddies are here for you!

  4. Keep blogging! No matter what, it really will help. :o)

    Your personal trainer sounds an inspiration! When I get to my goal, it may be a route I take as I would love to help other overweight people achieve their potential with fitness. A long way off, but not impossible!

  5. Leslie - I coordinate the Welcome Ministry at our church. You would think something so simple as that would not have any stress, but people don't like change, so any idea that is new or different they have to gripe about!

  6. I hear you! Who moved my cheese?!