Tuesday, March 2, 2010

When I am Weak I am Weak

I had my second interview today and it went really well, but now is the waiting game. They really didn't give me any exact idea when they would know...just soon.

I leave Thursday for a weekend in Boston with my girlfriends. It'll be a weekend without kids, so that is nice, since the last few I've had a sick child and even as I type there is yelling and whining going on in the background.

I am a weak person. As a Christian I believe God is strong and can make me a stronger and better person. But right now I feel weak and not feeling strong at all. At least not in the area of taking care of my body.

I miss blogging daily. Sometimes I don't write because my hubby and 2 good friends read. ( I love you all really) but sometimes its hard to lay it all out there to people who know you so well. It's weird because they DO know me well, so why is that harder?

One of my deterrents is a problem I had when I was around this weight in 2004. It's kind of gross so if you are squeamish, you might want to stop reading. It's an odor problem. It exists in the the area where my stomach roll lands by my lady parts. I'm sure its just a sweat issue because of how the skin is rubbing there. Kind of like the sweat between your toes. I think when I was a bit heavier maybe it just wasn't so close or something. Anyhow, it just has me self conscious in a way I haven't had to be. I just feel I want to keep taking showers before and after workouts and before I go to bed at night, but 3 showers a day is a bit excessive. So I use baby powder on it to keep it drying and from producing sweat. I told you , it's gross. So I think mentally I want to gain weight so it will stop smelling. My nutty brain. I think I just don't know at which weight it will STOP smelling. Does anyone else have this problem?

Anyhoo...(as my hubby says) that's today's news.


  1. I have had that issue at times...

    I use deodorant on the area to avoid chaffing when I work out at times. Also jock itch product and foot fungus cream stuff helps ewwwwww huh?

  2. Yeah - we humans have some kind of gross stuff that goes on at times...every single one of us!

    I can relate to feeling a little stifled by knowing that your husband and a couple of friends read your blog. Only my daughter and one friend who is currently living a wonderful nomadic life know about mine, and neither comment so I have no idea if they even read. That's okay with me, because i reveal aspects of myself here that, while I don't hide in real life, I don't offer out, either. I love your blog, Jodie, and always am happy when you post. Personally, I'd like you to write more often, because everything is about me and what I want!

    Have a great weekend with your friends.

  3. I asked my husband and kids not to read.
    I need to be brutally honest at times.
    And the chafing and smell...it only gets worse as you get bigger.
    Get smaller, you will feel the need to shower less often.
    Keep going...you can do this.

  4. Just a thin layer was all. TP folded once or something.

  5. Whenever I had this issue, I would tuck tissue paper into the crevice. Absorbing the moisture was the key for me.

  6. Jodie, I bathe two or three times a day and use an antifungal powder. The odor is pretty much gone but my skin is still a mess. I also find shaving helps. This is all about yeast growth, and anything you can do to stop it helps.

    I'd also like to say that it's the size of the roll or flap that makes the problem, not your size. I didn't have that when I was 370 lbs. You're pretty young though, and will probably have less loose skin as you lose weight.

    Baby powder might not be the best thing to use. While it wicks up moisture, there really isn't anything LEAVING the area... and yeast can feed on some of the powders that are corn starch based I hear.

  7. Fab Kate is right... This sounds a bit like a form of thrush to me... The best treatment is to keep the area as clean and dry as possible - I know I'm stating the obvious, but if you need three showers a day, have them, just make sure you dry the area REALLY thoroughly! I don't know where you are, but over here you'd be able to buy some powder over the counter to put on it. Hope it clears up soon! I very occasionally get it under my boobs, but I don't have much of a tummy so I'm lucky there!

  8. i happened on your blog tonite and enjoyed you so much. :) i'm right here with ya on this journey. and i've had this issue at times myself. i think the best thing to use is deoderant ~ its a miracle worker. i prefer the *secret* brand and they have so many great scents. not only does it eliminate the problem cuz it soaks up the excess moisture but it leaves that area smelling fresh, which is a plus when those frisky moments find ya and you don't have to excuse yourself to "prepare". ;) keep truckin. <3

  9. Hi Jodie,

    There is an award for you over on my blog. Check it out!