Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Delayed Depression

It hit hard. I'm working through it. Holidays are tough because they drudge up a TON of emotions that I'm not good at dealing with. My K tells me I need to focus on the family of 4 we are and not get worked up about the rest of it. It's just hard when there is noone in either of families that are terribly interested in our lives or that of our kids. We get the obligatory christmas card/presents but then we don't hear from anyone until a birthday. One of the reasons I wanted to move from New England was that it was too hard to live so close to my family and have them be so uninterested. It helped to move so far away, but it still is sad.

Only one person noticed I had lost weight when I was on vacation, and it was a person who sees me an hour twice a year. Someone who hadn't even known I was working out. I weigh 40 lbs less than the last time I was there and noone I'm related to even noticed.

I'm coming out the other side now. I made my bed and took a shower. I'm feeling less burdened. I probably won't hit the gym today but soon.

So, if you are a praying person, I could use a few just to get out of this funk.


  1. I'm not a praying person, but will send postive thoughts and energy your way. :o)

    If it's any consolation, I've lost over 60lbs since I started this journey in July, and the only people to have commented on it are those who were 'in the know'! I know it can be a confidence booster to hear someone say "Wow, you look great - have you lost weight?" but some people wouldn't notice if you gained OR lost 50lbs (walk around with their eyes closed! lol) and some people are worried about offending!

  2. I'm glad you're back posting. I'm sorry you've been struggling, but not that surprised. The holidays can really do a number on us emotionally. I always feel a low grade depression with the holidays. It's definitely gotten better over the years, thanks to a lot of work and therapy. I've come to accept that this is likely always going to be present at some level, and that has helped.

    I send you warms hugs, thoughts and prayers.

  3. Jodie, lots of hugs and know you will be in my prayers. I'm sorry that you have this kind of relationship with your family. I hate it for you! You deserve so much more. We are here for you--you're not alone!

  4. I really don't want this to sound rude or condescending b/c I cannot imagine what you are feeling. However, my motto has always been "it can always be worse." If you have a minute, I just posted a video on my blog (kinda graphic) about the Chinese Fur Farms. It just helps put life into perspective for me. Don't worry about the idiots that don't recognize your weight loss and hard work! You have a great support network online and I'm sure the blog provides a great outlet for you. Cheers to good health!

  5. Hang in there! You should think about volunteering this holiday season. It might make you feel better to help someone in need. It sure will take your mind off of yourself for a while. Good luck and stay strong!

  6. hey jodie,
    Sounds like you are still stuck in your role that you grew up in....
    I used to get this as well.
    Then one bad Christmas argument later and blammo, I am no longer the "Chrissy they knew".
    I am Chris...
    occasional b*tch who is not to be messed with.
    One good hissy fit throw down never hurt.
    Try it, it might feel good.

  7. I have come to visit by way of Chris (above comment)
    Growing up I remember those family members who had little to no interest in our little family.
    No with my own family, I have decided that family is just a name for those you are supposed to love, not like. lol
    I have friends that are much closer to me and my kids than many of my family members.
    Still, sorry things are hard right now. I will keep you in my prayers.

  8. Im a praying person and one who can also get beaten down by the holidays...thoughts your way.