Thursday, December 17, 2009

Yesterday...All my troubles seemed so...

NOT far away.

Yesterday's post was a tongue in cheek for anyone concerned I was throwing in the towel and saying "screw it" to a healthy life style. It was my humorous attempt at confession instead of beating myself up mentally for being such a failure (trust me...I've done this too in the past 24 hours).

I'm set off these days by the littlest things. Sometimes by reading blogs. and yesterday was a day that I got set off by reading very happy blogs. One friend is writing blogs about traditions of Christmas. It is heartwarming and heartbreaking for me. I love to read about other families traditions, but then it hurts because we had NONE growing up, and hubby is not a Christmas fanatic so while he doesn't mind traditions, he's not one to forge them. Some people have traditions for presents, and cards, and ornaments, and even Christmas wrapping! We had zilch traditions except we got presents under the tree and went to nana's to give her gifts and have dinner. That would qualify as a tradition for most, but we went to Nana's EVERY day because she watched us while dad was at work.

Then I read a blog from a dear friend who is in the adoption process. She has a lot of raw emotion over the process that I know very well. Some of the "Why can so many people who don't even want babies get pregnant and abort them and I can't" emotion. I feel that. I have felt it every time someone I know of gets pregnant. It's hurtful and hard when the most natural thing in the world doesn't happen naturally.

So yesterday, my troubles were close to my heart. I had good long cry out last night. I feel a little better. I'm going for a massage today, that should help too... *sigh*


  1. I hope that you have a great massage and a better day!

  2. I'm sorry you're feeling down. Things will look up soon--this time of year is very stressful and emotional, but you will get through it and we will still be here for you! *Hugs*

  3. So sorry to hear youre feeling down. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

    I love your holiday background. I'm new to your blog but look forward to following along.

  4. If it makes you feel better...I had almost no traditions to speak of growing up, so I had to create my own, one is putting Christmas music on and taking the kids around to look at lights...
    In fact, I wrote a post about our tradition...
    I have a feeling your lack of tradition would make you feel better if you just pop by and read my blog.
    Traditions aren't all they are cracked up to be..
    that being said...
    I will do it again next year, Why?

  5. Hey Jodie,

    Basically the holidays can kick our a$$es emotionally. I really hear that from you, and I feel it myself. We had no real traditions growing up, and I remember Christmas being quiet and depressing from my earliest days. In my family with husband and kids, we have established traditions, but I often feel I'm just going through the motions and not really feeling it. I love being together and we have a lot of fun, but the baseline of sadness related to Christmas just isn't going away entirely, no matter how fantastic my life with our family today is. But the sadness diminishes each year - gets better.

    And about this damn food and eating business, I'm just trying to limit the damage at this point! I've been a bit off my rocker with the food. Maybe next year I'll be one of those people blogging about how we don't have to gain weight over the holidays!

  6. Sometimes a good cry is all we need to get it out of our system! Goodness knows, I do enough of it! lol Even a news item (happy OR sad!) can set me off....

    Have fun!

    P x