I ran into a friend yesterday at the Oscar Shorts Festival. I hadn't seen her in a long while and the last communication we had was regarding how I was going to stop inviting her over to do things, because every time she turned me down. It was an honest conversation. I told her I am still her friend, but I couldn't continue feeling rejected. She accepted that so well and explained she just isn't a people person like that and she really likes keeping to herself.
When we were chatting about that yesterday, I said something that was rather profound, but so full of truth. I told her "You need to be who you are and do what you need for you, and I need to be me and do what I need for me." It was kind of a cathartic moment. I thought about it and realized that noone should try to be what I need them to be for ME. I think I get caught up in that a lot. If they loved me they would.... If they really cared they would have....
My sister in law once told my brother when he asked her to tone down a bit (she's quite gregarious and a fashion plate) in front of our family and she told him "You be you, and I'll be me"
Why is this so hard for people.
I am thoughtful. I think about people all the time. I'm a people pleaser. But that is not every one. Everyone should not have to be like me. I wish that someday I will meet someone like me. Someone who send flowers to a friend just to let her know you were thinking about her. Someone who calls me from a store because something I mentioned was on sale and would she like me to pick it up for her. The little things..
But for now, I will be making more efforts at accepting people for who they are and not who I want them to be towards me. I think there will be freedom in that. Freedom to be exactly who I want to be and not trying to make myself into what I think others want me to be.