Have you ever been traumatized by the words of others? Words that have stuck with you for your whole life. That make you sad even though they were said over 20 years ago by people who may no longer be in your life?
I have and am. I'm throwing out the trauma here:
When I was in 6th grade a girl named Shannon told me I was gross because I had underarm wetness. (before I knew about antiperspirant)
When I was in grade school a teacher (who I adored) told me I didn't need second helpings for the hot lunch. I think this was her way of trying to help me, but it really upset me.
When I was in high school, a boy named Stephen told me that the dress I was wearing could be used as a tent.
Also when I was in high school, my brother told me I sounded like a dead cow when I sang. (everyone says I have a beautiful voice but I'm a bit shy about it because of this)
My brother also once told me a flowered dress I wore made me look like a flowered couch. (I stay away from florals mostly now)
My very first boyfriend told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I had given him a BJ. (let's just say this started a whole thought process of "what do men really want? Me or sex? I'm just so fat, they are just horny..)
I had "friends" jokingly tell me for days in spanish that I was a "cabeza de mierda". (Shit head) I took French so I had no idea what this meant. Nice, huh?
So...what's the point here. That words hurt. Especially to those of us whose self esteem is already so low. I always need to be aware of my words with my girls. I don't want to be the one that traumatizes them!
This blogging community is great for words of affirmation! I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about the trauma here. And it is helpful to throw out my trauma. I speak the words that I have not spoken before in hopes that by getting them out I can move past them.
Hello! First off, thanks for stopping by my blog! :)
ReplyDeleteThe old adage "Sticks and stones man break my bones, but words will never hurt me." is such a lie, and our pastor has even preached on the power of words. However, like you said, the blogging community shares a wealth of encouragement, so I hope that you find strength as you move along in your weight loss journey to not only lose the weight, but the pain that has come with those awful words of your past.
I'd love to follow your newer blog. If you'll comment on mine with the new link I'll come on over. My comments aren't posted to the posts until I preview them, so I'll just not post it after I get the link.
Take care and hang in there. You're doing a great thing for yourself and your family!
p.s. Had to laugh at the bra party thing...too funny. My mom once told my dad to say goodbye to them because she knew they'd shrink as her weight did. LOL Sure enough..they did. :)
Wow - this took a lot of courage for you to write. I have some things that still haunt me all these years later. Putting them out like you've done is a huge step toward healing, Jodie. Perhaps I need to do some of the same, because I still feel deep painful shame over a couple of especially cruel things said about me - once in elementary school, and once in junior hi.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're still blogging - is it okay for me to put you on my blog roll?