A New Month, A New Chance

I like to think there are always new opportunities to do better.  My final fate in life is not determined by the bad choices I have made in the past year and half. 

There's a scene in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun where Frances talks about how divorce doesn't kill you.  It should, but it doesn't.   I feel that way about losing my Dad.  The pain on many days, especially through the holidays is unbearable.  Grief should kill you, but it doesn't. 

A good blog friend, Melissa just finished up the Whole 30.  A 30 day challenge to cut out dairy, grain, legumes, alcohol, sugar and soy.  The science in it has to do with foods that inflame our body.  I need something to kick start me off the sweet sweet cravings I have.  

So I'm on day 2.  It's not terrible.  I just feel a little sluggish in the afternoon.  Of course, it's only day 2 and as I run out of sugar for my body to use as energy I'm sure that it will be more difficult.  However, that means my body will be burning fat for energy instead of stored carbs.  That's a good thing.

You aren't supposed to step on a scale for 30 days.  Man, that will be hard.  I love weighing myself daily (even when it's a disgusting number).  So we shall see.  I love eggs and meat, so that part shouldn't be hard.  I love bread too though, the chewiness of it...just Yum.    Surely not eating sugar for 30 days won't kill me. (HAH!)

I'm not feeling Christmas this year.  I'm sad a lot.  I miss my dad.  But I trudge forward for my children.  But it hurts.  I hate doing things for the sake of doing them...and I know that's what I'm doing this year. 

But there are always new opportunities for happiness.  I will find them.

A Blip

Wow, time flies when you are destroying your hard work!  10 ridiculously bad days.  Am I not ready to do this?  No, I am.  I did walk/occasionally jogged a 5k yesterday.  I'm a bit sore today and my plantar fasciitis is bugging.  I had seriously thought about getting my shirt and getting back in the car and going home, but I did it.  It was a beautiful day.  I wanted to have a "beginning" score again. 

I want to do this.  I'm just so darned sad all the time...  Time....I just need time....