Thursday, November 1, 2012

I am NOT Bigger than a Baby Elephant Again

I've got 54 days (give or take) until this baby comes out of me, and although I've gained nearly 50 lbs, I can still say I weigh less than a baby elephant - (which is what started this blog all those years ago!)

I look forward to being able to work out again to my fullest, to be able to jog again without worrying about bouncing my baby. 

It's been a great year and a very difficult year all at once.  My dad was diagnosed with primary liver cancer and has gone through two rounds of intensive chemo.  One round worked in obliterating a tumor, the other did not.  In addition two new tumors grew while he was getting the chemo.  So they are making no progress and he has been given 6-12 months to live depending on  whether he continues some sort of treatment or not.  We've told him he needs to do what he wants...If he gets 12 months, but 6 of them are in a hospital in pain because of doing chemo, then there's no point.  Of course I want time, but I want my dad to die with dignity and grace.  I really want him to be able to meet his granddaughter as well.

So I am giving myself a pass for gaining this much weight.  Because if there is a time in life when I needed a pick me up it is while I am getting ready to give new life and at the same time watching the person who raised me head towards the end of his.  My dad is not a perfect man...but was given a lot of his own burdens early in life, and did what he could.  He was my only parent for most of my life and he is far too young IMO to leave this earth.  But that is what drinking does to your liver.  Or smoking does to your lungs.  And sometimes I worry what eating does to my body in the long term.  Does it make my body more vulnerable to cancer?  I don't know.  But I think about it!

So the countdown is on to Baby Girl's entrance to the world.  I can't wait!