Brave New World of Pilates Reformer

Inspired by other bloggers who are stepping out of their comfort zone, I decided that today I would try a Pilates Reformer class (with the machines). Our fitness membership gives us 4 free Pilates Reformer per month and unlimited Pilates mat classes.

I've always been intimidated by Pilates, thinking it was for those perfectly skinny people and that I could never stretch and bend the way I am supposed to. This is funny a little because I go every week to BodyFlow yoga and I generally don't feel that way there.

I really enjoyed it and felt work in muscles that I haven't really felt before. It works on "lengthening and strengthening" the muscles. I didn't even mind having my feet in the straps up in the air. (it sounds weirder than it is) I am even starting to feel a little sore in places (the good sore). I think I will definitely go back next Wednesday. The instructor said it is better to do the Reformer classes first because with the straps you have to have perfect form. On the mat you can adjust more easily and could be prone to injuries. It's perfect on Wednesdays because there really isn't a class I really want to take Wednesdays.

Have a great day!

Not Bigger than A Baby Elephant / Fat Ballerina

I have two posts in my head this morning so I'm going to combine them into one.

First, I am NO LONGER BIGGER THAN A BABY ELEPHANT!!!! I needed to post a weight under 250 in order for me to qualify this in my brain. The average baby elephant weighs 250 lbs at birth (according to the Brookfield Zoo and some websites, but not all) and today I was beneath that!!

I am feeling less crazy today then yesterday and my eating was perfectly fine yesterday as well. I am glad that even though I don't always have great control over my emotions, I am gaining better control over my eating.

Part II - Fat Ballerina

There was a girl in the ballet on Sunday (a teenager) who was much heavier than most of the ballerinas. I'm torn on how I feel about this. Part of me was proud of this young lady for dancing because she loved it (she was on pointe and everything) and not worrying about her body. But there was a part (probably the mother in me) that was sad for her and how much ridicule she must get for being the "fat" ballerina in the studio. She had to be 50 lbs heavier than the other ballerinas. I am torn whether I think her mother is awesome for encouraging her in ballet or annoyed that she is encouraging her daughter to publicly display herself. Don't be outraged at this post. I am working through my thoughts on it. Of course she has every right to do what she loves and I applaud her courageousness. (I am not so brave- I won't even have a family portrait done because I'm so fat). I just was overwhelmingly sad for this girl. Maybe I shouldn't be. I just know too well the ridicule I got as an overweight teenager. I can't imagine how it would be if I donned a tutu and danced in front of an audience of hundreds.

Today I am volunteering at a Workforce program for teens that have been identified as having difficult times interviewing and getting employment. We will be doing mock interviews with these kids and giving them pointers. It should be interesting.

Happy Tuesday!

Crazy Behavior

This post isn't about food, although it well could have been. Last night we went to our old church (the one we left in December) for a pie auction to raise money for the youth group trip to Guadalajara, Mexico. Now, it is a good cause and I have no regrets giving money to this, but one of the pies we got went into a bidding war. Now I am competitive by nature but something about the person bidding against me, about not wanting this church to get the better of me once again made it impossible for me to stop bidding. So we ended up donating $300 for 3 pies. Again, I am glad to do it, but I am also sick about it. Sick about my behavior. Sad that I couldn't just let things go and let the guy have one of the pie's for a huge amount of money. I just wanted control, I wanted to feel like I was better than them. People in this church made me feel so small and useless, I just wanted to feel like I wasn't that. I've got a long way to go in that department.

My husband wasn't too impressed with my craziness, but since we haven't been giving to a church for a long while he could allow that it was okay to donate so much and we do care about quite a few of the people going.

So today I'm quite sad, probably sadder than I've been for a while. I have not succumbed to stuffing my face with the pie though. I have had 2 small slices. I think that I thought more people would be excited to see us (for most it has been over 6 months). I thought people would seek us out to talk to us. But not really. People said hi in passing, (a bunch of people commented on how great I looked! (YAY!) but that just made me feel even more insignificant than when we attended there. Completely useless. That it didn't even matter that we left.

Crazy behavior. Now I just need to get passed it...stop thinking about it. It's over and done. Nothing terrible happened. I just want to stop feeling so crappy!!!

Um, this isn't supposed to fit yet.....

So today is a big day at our house. It is Ballet day! One of my daughters attends a ballet studio that does shows, not recitals. She is a baby swan in a production of Swan Lake. It's very exciting. Of course I want to look nice today so I was perusing my closet. I have a lot of lovely tops, but not so many skirts that match them! On a whim, I pulled out some skirts I bought at Walmart a while ago that didn't fit me, but they were only $1 on clearance. I figured I would at least try them. I put them away at the beginning of the spring because I couldn't even come close to buttoning them. Well this morning, what do you know? They buttoned!! They are a freaking size 18!!!!. Now, These must be a big 18, because often a 22 can be tight depending on the maker. BUT STILL!! An 18!!! Rootin Toot Woo Hoot!!

What an awesome feeling!!

Round 2!

Today I met my first weight goal. I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I'd be, but I did rush right to my computer to update my ticker and put up my next goal. My first goal was 35 lbs, my next goal is 21 lbs. My next goal is related to the lowest weight I've been in the last decade which was 229 lbs right before September 2001. It would be nice if I could make that goal before September 2011, but I'm not going on time. Success is success if it takes 2 months or 10. Originally I was going to start my ticker over to 0, but then I would lose the nifty weight graph at the bottom of my blog which shows my downward progress. That helps me to remember that sometimes I go 5 days with no change. I do not post the small gains because I think that would somehow mentally depress me to see it there.

I'm on target with my exercise goal for the quarter as well. I'm quite proud of what I've done. Thank you all for the encouragement these past few months! Keep it coming!

How'd I get this fat?

Do you ever wonder how you got so fat? In the moment I never really thought about. I never thought about why I gained almost 60 lbs after I got married, because thinking about those things causes shame, and who wants to feel that? But now that I have lost a bit I can think about it with a little more clarity and peace of my mind. So here are tips to not get so fat:

1) Do not choose to live next to a Chinese Restaurant with cheap lunch specials.
2) Do not choose to live next to a convenience store which sells Hostess Snack Cakes
3) Do not eat Suzy Q's with your lunch every day through high school
4) Do not eat a box of Little Debbies, a whole Bag of Chips, a half gallon of icecream at one sitting repeatedly.
5) Do not buy the 2/$1 Hostess Honey Buns repeatedly and scarf them both down in a minute.
6) Do not spend most of your waking hours in front of the TV or computer.
7) Do not eat Ramen Noodles every day you are not buying Chinese from the restaurant next door.
8) Do not order fries with every cafeteria meal at work/school
9) Do not buy multiple candy bars daily and eat them
10) Do not eat a whole package of rolls and lunch meat at one time.
11) Do not eat a can of frosting just because you can.
12) Do not drink 6+ cans of Diet Coke per day and no other beverages.

Yes, I have done all of these at some point or another, many multiple times. And THAT is how I ended up being 307 lbs at my highest weight in 2006.

Yesterday I fit into my wedding dress.(worn in 2003). My daughter said "Mom, why are you wearing that?" I told her I wanted to see it fit. I told my husband I was happy to be back at the weight where he fell in love with me. :) I don't want to be that fat again. I'm happy now knowing that I am making better choices. I am feeling better, I am looking better. :) If I can give up all 12 things above, anyone can. I have lost almost 57 lbs since my highest weight (35 lbs this last go around). That is pretty amazing to me.

I think I'll keep going...

I am the Karate Kid!

Well...not really..but I did have posters of Ralph Macchio on my wall as a teenager. Do girls still do that - put hunky boy posters on their walls?

Today in BodyFlow we did some new tracks (well old ones I had never been around before to do) and in the balance track we did the crane! If you have seen Karate Kid, it's the move he learns which basically wins him the tournament. Well, we did not do the kick, but we did put our hands out like the bird and balance on one foot while the other was raised for a while :). It made me happy.

Today is the 2nd day of summer vacation. It has been so nice not having to get two kids ready and fed by 8AM every morning including making lunch!

On an unrelated note, I am obsessed with picking my scabs...anyone else? I swear I am going to have a ton of scars on my arms from mosquito and bug bites because I can't leave them alone to heal!!! GRRRRRR!!

Are you watching my tickers....I'm very close to one goal. ;) Very exciting for me! I did actually without thinking about it made another goal I made in 2009 here http://biggerthanababyelephant.blogspot.com/2009/11/first-100-days.html

I fit into my wedding dress! The waist part was right but the top part was huge!! Which just confirms all my weight is lost from my top half!!

Yay! Just yay!